Your Light[LAMS And Constant Re-editing]

Prologue

I was ten when my father had left us. 

He was sick of us, with all our debts and problems and didn't even try to solve them. I still remember the echoing slam of the door that  resounded off the walls, signaling that he was out of the family picture, once and for all and forever. 

I was twelve when my mother whom I had loved dearly caught a disease that was slowly taking all the shreds of her life. I visited her whenever I could, whenever I could accompany her.

The day I found out was the day the only immediate family member that I could rely on for all the things we needed was my older brother.

James.

He was named after my coward father, but I loved him nonetheless. He was my older brother and comforted me whenever the strangers on the streets would taunt me as a whoreson. Whenever they called me worthless and useless.

He was always there by my side.

Throughout the time when he was eleven and I was nine years old, he had been trying spending two years of his childhood trying to relieve my family of their huge debts. But all in vain. There were only certain jobs he could take, our poor statuses bogging us down. Neither of us could get an proper education. I had to be self-taught through thousands and thousands of pages of extensive reading. While sometimes I struggled, I kept going after some encouragement from him. It's a little funny how he mastered the way of words before I did.

Aside from moral support,James also made sure that I could afford this alternative course of education. I'm not sure how, but I know he managed, somehow. There's so much that I have to owe him. Lord knows what he had to go through.

Was it a thankless job? Perhaps. I was innocent and fragile back then and was only prone to our loved ones' deaths. I didn't know any better about the other dangers he faced.

All I know is that I loved him very much, but I just never expressed it. I had known from the beginning that if I ever tried to I would end up causing more confusion and conflict than any other way.

For years my dear brother was my own personal shield and our only family's source of income that could make up for our financial situation. For three whole hard years, he had tried and tried. I could see it in his face every day.

Only on my fifteenth birthday after I had gotten a job at a local trading charter to help him after lying about my age by adding two years to match up with James. I managed to convince them at last. I was studying and using my gathered intelligence to work and earn income. I struggled again. James was still there. I was convinced that we could make it through the worst of this. I was convinced it couldn't get worse from here.

And then almost eight months later, the hurricane struck.

I remember James having to drag me off my desk, since apparently, I was so in the zone of writing non-stop that I didn't hear the rattling of the windows being hit by the stormy winds, the extraordinarily strong rains pouring outside. It was only when I finally snapped out of it did I immediately ran, following James' lead.

"I swear, I have no idea how you can never be disturbed in the zone."

"I'm sorry..." I say, making myself pout.

A laugh escapes James only for a brief moment as the hurricane won't allow the time. "That's alright. Now hurry! We have to find mom!"

In the worst of the worst, I still found the best of the best thing to happen. Well...if you could call it the best.

Rachel survived. So did my cousin Peter, who I only met when the hurricane struck, who took care of mom for a lot of the time we used and lost.

I remember looking out in the shelter after the storm had passed. The catacombs were everywhere. Hundreds of people drowned, lifeless corpses everywhere on shore. Half of the buildings were thrown down by the winds, all the trees were uprooted.  Were the gods above us angry with us? Me? What had I done to anger and cause them to make this much damage?The damage was indescribable. This was my only home I didn't choose and which I still bore with shame. And it was damaged.