than summer happened, by the middle of summer everything was getting better but the darkness still remained. all the feelings of me being useless and stupid were still around. now this is were things change.
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I was sitting on the couch watching tv with my sister. when my parents switched the tv off and pulled up a chair near me, which for the record I was a bit mad about because there was a good fight scene going on. they told me that "I was removed from Pinecrest because of my academics" (keep in mind that my parents both speak in Spanish so my sister translated most of the conversation) and that I needed to choose another school because I was going to repeat 5th grade. at first I was really happy that I was finally leaving that hell but what bothered me the most was what I figured out a few seconds later.
they kicked me out because I was too stupid to stay there
that made me really depressed at the moment and I sorta zoned out. my dad waved his hand in front of my face and I snapped back to reality, faking a smile when my mom asked me if I was okay. he gave three schools to choose from, one of them was e.w.f stirrup elementary, I instantly said that I wanted to attend school there. my parents told me to think about it more but I insisted that it would be best if I go there. eventually they agreed and I was sighed up to attend stirrup.
the week before school started my dad was immitted to the hospital because of a terrible lower back pain, which he later got another surgery for. my room was next to theirs and it was pretty late so I was supposed to be sleeping. I peeked from my door into their room, I saw my dad in complete and utter pain, hunched on the side off his bed. my mom helped him up and walked toward the living room, I ran to my bed and pretend to be asleep to avoid getting in trouble and make matters worse. I heard them talking to my ssister than the front door closed, my sisters footsteps walking up her stairs and her electric fan turning on. which means my parents left and my sister went to sleep. I sat up on my bed than scooched to my left into the corner of my bed and laid my back against pillows and stuffed animal's. I pulled my legs against my chest and started to cry over the fact that I saw my dad, the man that is strong and can even be scary at times. almost in tears over the intense pain he was in for the first time, it hurt me. I stayed like that for a while eventually I cried myself to sleep.
the next morning, my mom woke me up. I asked what happened to my dad and she said that he had to stay at the hospital to get ready for a surgery. but the surgery was on the first day of school so I had to miss the first day. the day that school started I went to go visit him, still sad and afraid to see him. we walked into his room, I felt this wave of depression hit me hard. he looked at me and waved me in, I felt like crying but I faked another smile. I stayed there with him for a while after lunch than went back home for the rest of the time. he had to stay at the hospital for a few more days to recover, I laid down on the couch. my mom went to sleep because of the lack of sleep from her night job and from staying with my dad, and my sister was at school. I stared at the ceiling, thinking about what happened and trying not to cry. I took a deep breath and just decided to watch Netflix to destract me, It actually worked and I felt a lot better (what I was watching was miraculous ladybug).
once it was night time I was in my bed, laying on my back. looking at the moon and thinking about tomorrow, hoping I could get a fresh start at school.
YOU ARE READING
self therapy
RandomI just wanted to make this for me, and for others who might've gone through similar things to me to be able to tell they're stories too. this is like a safe place since Wattpad has been a safe place for me for years.
