sanctuary (a bastille/dan smith fanfic)

chapter 26

~dan’s pov~

I felt someone touch my shoulder and spinned around, knife clenched in my hand and white knuckles. Well… not exactly white, more blood red.  I’m still in full survival mode , adrenaline rushing through my veins. 

Everything is happening way too fast and I see my knife shoot forward before I realize what I’m doing and who I’m doing it to. Kate. Kind, caring Kate.  She looks me in my eyes while it happens. Her green eyes seem to shout at me. First worried but then confused and ending in disappointment. But never anger or blame. She faints almost immediately. I drop the knife and manage to catch her before her head hits the ground.  This is when a huge wave of guilt hits me. What have I done? Bringing a fucking knife with me to school?  I am such an idiot. A complete foolish, idiot. I didn’t notice that I was crying until now, sitting on my knees in the middle of the school canteen. Everyone saw this. I can’t seem to stop shaking.

I hear footsteps behind me and I know it’s Ralph. I am sure he’s fucking mad with me and he has every right to be. I stand up, sigh and turn around. I look him in the eyes and whisper. ”I am so sorry.”  “fuck you Daniel.” And his fist connects with my face. Knocking me from consciousness.

I was told afterwards that it was quite chaotic once the teachers found the whole scene. People had called an ambulance. But I hadn’t expected the next thing, Everyone hated Paul so much that they told the teachers that it was him who had brought the knife. They had seen me snap and pitied me even though I had stabbed one of my friends. Never in a hundred years had I expected that to happen.

I woke up in the hospital, well not really. I woke up in the ambulance next to Kate but they gave me so much pain killers that I fell back asleep almost instantly. But when I properly woke up, without a cloudy head from painkillers for my injuries, all I could think about was how guilty I felt.  And if Kate would be mad. I had been pondering for half an hour when I suddenly realized that Ralph H.A.T.E.S. me right now. I have been friends with him for as long as I remember and the thought of him hating me is… wrong.  My parents came to see me, worried. But I can’t look at their faces with this on my conscious. My mind wanders back to how Kate is doing.

A nurse walks in and he looks vaguely familiar. Jack!  “hey Jack how are you doing?” Jack frowns a little but grins at my eager greeting, I guess I needed company more than I thought. “I’m fine. I wish I would stop seeing you in the hospital though. It’s like your whole school is lying here, wounded. Wait, that sounded harsher than I meant it to…” I kinda like how he talks a million miles an hour, so I don’t need to talk so much. He speaks up again “Have you tried to walk yet?  Someone who asked me to see you but you’ll have to go to her.”

 I throw the blanket off me and flinch at the sight of all the bruises. Now a pretty sight and I am not even talking about my face because it even feels ugly. They set my nose while I was asleep, which I’m very happy about because I don’t want to be conscious when that happens. I stand and struggle a little to find my balance but that is probably just my clumsiness. Jack shoots forward to prevent me from falling over.” I’m alright now I think, let’s go” I am itching to leave this room even if it’s just for some minutes. Who is he talking about? Kyla already moves around with her wheelchair so she wouldn’t have asked me to go to her.

I’ll see who it is.  Jack guides me past a few rooms and then stops and points at a room. “here, go in. I’ll wait here.” He pushed me through the door. I close the door behind me and glance around to see who’s in here. There were three empty beds and one filled.  It was Kate, she was smiling and gestured me to come closer. I am terrified, why is she smiling? She should hate me, I stabbed her for fucks sake. I shuffled closer and sat down on the chair next to her. “w-why did you-u ask me to come h-here?” I say. Damn why am I stammering. 

“simple. because I am not mad at you. And in the short time I know you, I’ve learnt that you are not a violent person.  You were defending yourself (and Kyla) from Paul. It was an accident. I don’t blame you, hell, even the school doesn’t blame you. Everyone told the teachers that it was Paul who had the knife.” She told this with such… I can’t name it but it is something good.

“wow, Wait. Did they ALL lie for me? Why would they do such thing for me? They don’t know me. I’m just the weird kid.” I say stunned. I hadn’t told anyone the real story, just that I got into a fight. No one asked me about a knife.

 “haven’t you seen it? Noticed it? They saw how you got beaten up by Paul for the past year. They saw you struggle with your weight. They see, Dan. They may not have helped you, but they are not blind. They know how Paul triggered this, made you snap in a way you’ll probably never will again. But most important, they saw the regret afterwards. Ralph told me how you kept crying. They pity you. I pity you.”

Her speech blew my little mind. “wow, I-I..” I try to say. Kate held out her hand, “still friends?” I ignore her hand and give her a quick hug. At this moment, Jack walks in. “so so cheating on Kyla already?” he said this in a joking way so I wasn’t alarmed. It was just a hug. I stand up to leave but Kate suddenly speaks up “I have forgiven you but Ralph may be another story. He blames you and I can’t change his mind. Talk to him.” we say goodbye I leave the room. Jack took the opportunity to check up on Kate. I turn left and immediately bump into someone I’m not ready to bump into yet.

Ralph, ohhh shit.

New chapter! There will be around 3-4 chapters left :) what do you think? And if you guys are wondering, Jack is not a random character, he has a purpose :p thanks for the 6K reads and I’m already getting closer to 7K *dan voice* that’s mental!

Xx sea-salt-singer