Indignant Heart

Chapter 54: Loving Too Hard

I pedal harder and harder, picking up some speed. I became distraught, desperate with worry. My legs felt as if they would give out, but I kept on pedaling. I could feel my chest constricting as I heaved and gasped for some air, but I wouldn't stop.

I drifted along the gravel, dropping my bike and coming to a rough stop , but continued to run full force into the trees. I pushed myself past my limit.

He had to be here. There's no where else he could've went. This was the place he went to when he needed to clear his head and get away from everything. He was here, I knew he was.

But as I pushed past the last few trees, ducking and dodging them, I reached the clearing only to be dispirited. He wasn't here. No sign, no trace, nothing. My chest weighed a ton and the heaviness of my heart was enough to crush me down. I closed my eyes, trying my best not to let my emotions get the best of me, but failing just a bit. Tears sat on my lashes, but did not fall.

He could be anywhere...his house...the church...still driving along some street...but something in me told me not to go looking for him, that wherever I thought he was, I wouldn't find him there.

Night had officially fallen. I opened the door and the lights in the house were all off. It was apparent Henry had stepped out. Maybe him being away was better right now. I could worry in peace, however ironic that sounded.

I trudged along to my room, feeling agony hone itself in. The blue bird, Carter now being his name, chirped and sang when I arrived. I glanced over at it and it instantly reminded me of him.

Every time I dialed Carter's phone number, it went straight to voicemail and I cursed him for it.

"Damn it Carter! Answer the damn phone! Just...please...please answer the phone...I'm worried about you...I want to make sure you're alright...just—call me..." and then I had thought, if he had called me while he was driving, he could get into an accident. "No! Don't call—just please...I hope you're safe."

With that, I ended my pursuit of calling him and clutched my phone to my chest. No matter how hard I tried, the constant shadow of apprehension cast over me. 10 o'clock had come and then 11, and then midnight. Nothing. Not a text or call, or sign of his well being.

Henry eventually came home and checked in on me. I pretended to be asleep so he would leave me alone. When he had left, I sat up in bed again and continued to look out my window.

"Lord...please let him be alright...please let no harm come to him."

I prayed until I no longer had it in me to stay alert and awake. My eyes were failing to stay open, but I blinked them open. My body had been slouching and bending to sleep, but I forced it upright. I had to stay awake. I checked my phone every minute, not daring to make another call, but hoping I'd receive one from him, so much my heart hurt.

I don't remember when, but I eventually gave in to sleep. The feat was too much to handle and the stress had weighed me down. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and then drifted away.

That was until I heard a pang at my window. Then another. My eyelids were fat and swollen from the tears, but I pried them open. Another pang.

I jolted myself up and looked out my window to find Carter on the ground throwing pebbles at the glass. I wasted no time. Hastily, yet quietly, I bolted out my door and toward the front of the house. Carter was already there when I went to open it and I flew myself into him without a second thought.

Tears of frustration, anger and joy overcame me all at once as I buried myself into his chest. He squeezed my small frame into his own, gathering my flesh into his hands.