Sometimes we cannot recognize ourselves in the mirror. A stranger seems to control our actions at times and we become slaves to a master we've never met.
I'm in a dark, dark place my friends. Very dark. And I can't see a way out. So if I only go farther down the rabbit hole please know that I wanted to get out but I couldn't...I can't find my way through here. I feel trapped.
Still I sit here and type away my cries for help where I know nobody can help even if anyone heard. No one I know can help. Maybe people I once knew but they're no longer here for a reason.
When you lose something you can't replace you only then feel true loss. The only thing that cannot be replaced is a life...and right now there are a lot of people I sob for. But you stay strong for those around me I just have to bury it on the inside and as a result...
I pray God will keep me from going any deeper. I need help. But who can even help? I see a darkness. I have a drive to live. But its opposition comes rising up sometimes. Did you know how much I love you though? Is there hope that somehow you can save me from this darkness.
