Battle rage

Something more? Part 1

Don't get me wrong I love life as next as the next guy.

Just not people.

I can't lie to you and say my life was always and has been easy. Because it hasn't. I've always been known to have more bad days then good and I find that extremely okay.

Like today Nathan did even see me and I was next to him.

You know you mean nothing to someone when your completely invisible.

Well I'm completely invisible unless I say hi first. I'm yenny. I'm not gonna say hi first. It's not my place.

I care too much always has. I always try and try not too. But I love people so much I care anyways. That's okay. Because that's who I am.

Today

As I walk out of 5th period science. I walk out mad. Jovani and David wouldn't stop brothering me. I love them both so much jovanie more.

Anyways I walk out always with people. This time I decided to walk out alone.

As I walk down the hall of mazes which is my school I step along Nathan. Nathan was talking to his Bestfriend sam.

Nathan usually notices me. I walk right besides Nathan and expect Atleast a hi. Nothing more than jit a typical all I want hi.

You wanna know what I get? I don't even get a glance of attention. It's like he decided to mark me dead. I'm pretty much alive.

I walk to 7th period and which was just across the hall. I'm usually one the quite people. Thing is. I'm one of the loudest people you'll ever meet.

I barely speak two words in that class.

I couldn't stop thinking that maybe I should just let go and move on.

I hate that.

I hate moving all. Especially after I heave someone my all.

Everyone was telling me I can't waste my precious time on someone who doesn't care.

I'm not wasting my time. Because Nathan is such a good person, Who cares about people, and he does good in school. I'm not even gonna lie to you I've tried many ways to get over him. The worst one I thing was trying to hate him. I can't hate him. I just can't. The way his smile just takes up the whole room. It's not enough to hate a person. I think I might love him. But then again what's love? What's actually love. Is it the cute little feeling you get in your stomach when you hug him? Or is it the pain of knowing that person may never love you back?

Can someone please tell me is this a cribs or maybe something more.

I've liked people and felt this way. Stronger even.

But I think I love him because of the story I have with him.

I never thought he was cute. I would even call Nathan ugly because I used to think that.

Then when me and Nathan became more that what we are and when I was going through a tough time. He was there. I think I fell in love with the idea that I might actually find someone to love.

So can someone please tell me. Is this a crush or something more.