Battle rage

If dreams where real

I'm writing so sad. Not because I'm sad. It's because things have been happening lately that doesn't make any sense to me. I keep having these weird dreams about people explaining my life to me.

I'm gonna tell you one. So you understand what I'm trying to say.

It started me in my school cafeteria. I walk in with people but as I soon walk in. Those people left.

(Sign that people are never gonna be by your side.)

I walk in and Emily tells me to sit down. In the first table. I do.

As then she sits down with me and starts telling me story's about my life.

" james and you never spoke.." As she stopped speaking as I interrupted her.

" yes we didn't speak to eachother. But I felt something for james that was so powerful in a way I fell in love with the way he was in the outside. Then I realized what a horrible person he was and instantly moved on so it won't be as painful. "

Emily looked at me with a face saying " do you hear yourself? You fell for an imaginary ideal of what you wanted him to be. And your imagination fucked you up so much you can barely believe it yourself."

As I cried of how painful that sounded. She wiped my tears and began with Adam.

Emily now saying with an annoyed look and a smirk " Adam. You fell for adam literally the first day of school. I remember you saying that his smile would drive you insane. And he was the only person that could make you happy. To bad he didn't feel same."

" em why are you telling me about Adam? One of the lowest points I my life to be clear. Why are you bringing up people that ruined me..." I said crying. But Emily didn't let me finish as she continued for me.

" they where a part of your life you let go. All that bs I know your gonna say. All I hear is bs after bs after bs. Let's be honest here. You didn't love them like you say you do. You just wanted someone to love you. And you wanted that so bad you'd literally choose anyone at random. Just make yourself happy" she told me screaming banging her hands on the table.

I shed into tears and didn't understand why this would happen.

Why is she bring them up? Why, why now?

"Let's move on" Emily said putting her hands together.

"Nathan. Sopposely one of the strongest loves you have. Funny it was so strong you moved on in less than a week when I told you was to block him from everything." She said that looking the maddest she could possibly be.

" Oh please we both know you've never experienced love. You haven't because you don't just move on. You don't fall in love with people just by the outside. You have to love something about them that's so deep even you can't believe it yourself." As she stood up and left the cafeteria.

My ex Best friend caridad walks in.

" I'm gonna name people and you say the first thing that pops into your head. Deal?" Caridad said with a emotionless face.

" me ".

"You left me."

"Amber."

" she turned into a bitch."

"Carlos"

" stupid jit "

"James"

I thought on that one. I honestly didn't know what to say.

As she spoke and said, " if you can't think about something on the top of your head when mentioning it. They honestly don't have a big effect on you. If you have to think about something. That means you didn't care as much as you did before and you should honestly just stop hating them for something that you know don't care about."

She didn't let me speak. She continued saying names.

"Emily"

" my bestfriend."

As I said that. Caridad stood up and left. She left crying. And when she opened the door you can't see her through the window. You can't see that she ever even came in the cafeteria.

Then I realized that what these people where telling me had a story to it.

I instantly woke up.

I understood more than I thought. And later that day I moved on.