We’re about to perform on a live TV show for the first time in our lives and my best friend is not talking to me.
“Where is he, Zayn?”
Zayn looks at me from his spot in front of our hair dresser, Adam. “I donno, man. I think he said that he wanted to check out the stage before the show.
I sigh and turn back to my reflection in the mirror. I look tired, but nothing the professional makeup artist can’t fix. My stomach’s been uneasy since this morning and it’s killing me to know that the one person who could easily make all this uneasiness go away hates me.
“They have to be ready in half an hour.” One of the crew says behind me.
“Are you feeling alright?” the hair and makeup assistant, Lou, asks me while touching up my hair.
“Yeah, I guess.” I look down, not wanting to meet her eyes in the mirror.
Louis joins us when there’s just ten minutes until the show starts and I try not to look his way. I’m going to keep my face expressionless until we get on that stage; hopefully I’ll make it through the performance without vomiting all over the stage floor. I need to show Louis—and the boys—that I can do my best under pressure. I need to do this for us.
As one of the show writers comes to the joint contestants’ room backstage to remind us of the show’s format for tonight and tomorrow night, we’re reminded that not one, but two contestants are going to be eliminated.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
We’re then told the sequence of the performances and I don’t know whether to be glad that we’re the 13th act of the night, or bummed out.
Once the man leaves, everyone goes back to chatting about their performances. Louis stays near Zayn the whole time while I try to appear interested in whatever Niall is saying.
Contestants come and go as we stay seated on the couches backstage, watching the others on the flat screen on the wall.
F.Y.D seemed a bit nervous on stage so I have a bad feeling about their scoring tonight. I’m trying to stay positive, though.
“Alright boys,” we’re ushered out to the corridor by a crew member. “You’re after Nicolò.”
We all look at each other and Louis and I hold each other’s gaze for a second before looking away.
“Should we come up with some kind of pre-show ritual?” Louis muses, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
“Sure. We could, like, put our hands together and chant something.” Liam looks at Louis.
“Nah, that’s cliché, Liam.” Louis dismisses him.
“How about be just group hug?” I speak.
“Okay…” Louis says quietly and we get in for the hug.
“Okay. One Direction is on in two minutes everybody!” we hear a man shout.
“Zayn, you’ve got the timing in check?” Liam asks, worriedly.
Zayn rolls his eyes but answers nevertheless. “Yes, Liam.”
“And Harry, you’re feeling better?” Liam turns to me.
“How did you—” I start but am soon interrupted with a sharp voice.
“What’s wrong with him?” Louis asks, his voice full of concern. He looks back at me, his eyes locked on my face. I try not to squirm under his scrutiny.
