Canadians Do it Best(Chris Collins)

Chapter 9

Sooo before I start this chapter I suggest you listen to a few songs during the first part because it kind of just places the mood

Make you love me- Troye Sivan

Crash Test Dummy(Broken)- Reed Deming

The Fault in our Stars- Troye Sivan

{ Kayla POV }

I locked myself in my room, I couldn't do it anymore . I walked into my bathroom, locked the door & sat down on the floor against it. I looked over at my sink cabinet thinking back to the last time ....

'Are they still in there?'

I walked over to the cabinet & slowly opened it & sighed a sigh of relief to the sight of the silver container still there .

I slowly opened & looked down. At this point I was completely numb & mentally drained

I wanted to relapse, but I knew I couldn't for the sake of Chris. If I did it, it had to be small & not noticeable

I pulled out the 2 silver slivers & brought one to my wrist, I started to cry & sliced, then stopped bc it felt like such a relief.

I walked out 30 minutes later & Chris was sitting on my bed crying.

"Chris..." I started.

"Stop. I know what you did in there."

"You have to understand-"

"I don't have to understand anything, but you do. Do you realize how much you are hurting the ones that love you most?"

A silent tear slipped down my face & I wiped it away. I had nothing to say I just stared at him trying to hold back the tears.

"Kayla I love you, please stop doing this to yourself. I can't handle it, I can't stand seeing you upset with yourself, when all I see? Is pure perfection. I don't care about those other, model eligible girls, because they will never catch my eye as much as you have." I walked over to Chris looked him in his blood shot eyes & kissed his salty lips.

"I don't do it because I feel I'm not good enough for everyone because sometimes I have my good days to, it's just I feel alone. There are all these amazing people surrounding me & I feel alone in the crowd like no one seems to see me.

Do you know how much it sucks to feel like that 24/7? I tried staying strong for you when I was in there I just I had to do at least one. I will stop this for you Chris, just for you, I promise."

He pointed to my wrist & I lifted my sleeve up to show him the old & new. He looked up at me.

"You said you only did one?"

"Well you see I only remember doing one."

"So you're telling me when you start it's like you can't stop?"

"In a way. I'm sorry, I don't remember doing these & I don't remember them this deep."

"Kayla, I love you."

"I love you to."

{ Chris POV }

I had stayed with kayla in her room till she fell asleep & even then I didn't leave right away, she seemed so much happier asleep & it made me happy. Before I left her room I let a tear slide down my cheek then went to the mirror to make sure I didn't look like I just spent 4 hours crying with Kayla.

When I walked out Sam was there.

"How is she?"

"She's fine, she kind of just wants to be alone for a little bit."