The Boy With The Blank Stare: Future

Chapter Three: Doomed

Ouma's POV:

School went by quickly. It always was like that for years I guess, so I'm used to that. Back then I didn't even really care where I was, I just went through whatever motions Momota or my mother told me to follow, go to school, come home, sleep. A perfect routine of almost a neverending cycle, one that offered few stimuli aside from the regular comments of the people around me. Rarely ever was that positive, but nothing I didn't deserve.

Ever since Saihara came here though...a little thing has been awakening inside of me again, the little voice in the back of my head screaming at me for years was quieter. Instead of that voice crying out all my sins and crimes, all the things wrong with me, and the horrible atrocities I could have prevented...it was just a little quieter. For once something new had appeared, my curiosity led me to question him, see if he was going to be the same as the rest...and he made me want to smile. I felt that part of me that wanted to laugh at some of the stupid things he did, and his false stealthy behavior. How he seemed to genuinely be a kind person, one who sincerely did want to help others.

I thought he was different, maybe I did have someone who would want to spend time with me despite the burden I can be. Someone who wanted to spend time with me because of how I was in the now, and not any guilty conscience that might have motivated the rest of the world around me.

I might have been lying to myself though. I retraced my day, all the things I said, and wondered if telling Saihara the truth...if telling him the truth was a mistake. Because now he didn't have an unsolved case to discover, he knew the truth.

Maybe he decided he didn't need me anymore, maybe that's why he left today. Maybe he didn't need to go but chose to leave me. It's fine, I'm used to this. I can handle this. So...if I'm so used to these boring mundane days...why is it so sad that today is going by fast? It didn't have the right to, yet the school day had passed by in an instant.

My mother won't ever take me home again, I won't ever feel her trembling hands or hear her quiet mumbling of greetings.

Won't have Momota always trying to get me to spend time with him, I won't hear him get scared over ghosts again, or hear his laugh.

Won't ever have DICE with me, encouraging me to be my best, and having the freedom to act as stupid as I want just for the fun of it. I miss acting stupid.

"How does it feel your Mother hated you so much she offed herself rather than dealing with you anymore?"

I'm an orphan now. I realized that as soon as I heard those words again. I don't remember my Dad, my Mom said he died when I was young. I can faintly make out that he had my smile when he was happy. But I already knew I was an exact copy of my mother so none of my features helped me remember what he looked like.

Mom always told me that my Father wasn't important anymore and that we were going to be fine...but she also said she wouldn't leave me alone. Not when she went to get clean, or when she used to visit me in the hospital, sure those visits were rare always just once a week...she always made sure to be there when she could.

And now she left me too. She said she wouldn't let herself hurt me anymore...I...I didn't think she meant it that way...I didn't even say anything to her...what could I have said? She abused me...and she loved me...she tried to protect me...only to leave me...

You deserve to be alone.

You should be alone.

Murderer.

Psychopath.

Do you think anyone would want to stay by your side? You're a mess, a disgrace, you should just die already.