The Things I'll Never Get To Say

#49

How does one explain loneliness?

I have friends but I always feel like an outsider.

I'm the one who gets left behind when I ask them to wait.

I'm the one they joke around with a bit too much.

I'm always the one who has to walk behind when the path is too narrow, desperately trying to walk next to them.

When I sit with my 'friends', I glance around and realize I am the least important.

I'm the one they always forget.

I'm the one who none of them really like.

The one friend who is always just sort of there.

So, don't you dare tell me I'm not alone, because when I am clutching my tear-stained pillow at 3:42 on a Tuesday morning, I am on my own.

No one else understands or will ever understand.

My so-called friends are not the ones engulfed in a river of sadness because I'm distancing myself.

I'm the one whose drowning in this endless ocean of depression.

Because everyday, I realize just how little I mean to  e v e r y o n e  and I just can't help it if I feel so alone.