Del Rico #1: Say Amen

Kabanata 11

Marriage

Have you ever wondered what it's like for someone who has done something wrong? I often find myself thinking about how sinners feel as each day goes by. Do they carry the weight of their sins with them constantly, or do they manage to forget, even just for a little while? And if they do forget, do they still find happiness despite the knowledge of their wrongdoing?

It's intriguing to ponder how sinners go about living their lives, knowing that punishment might be waiting for them. Is it a constant cloud hanging over their heads, or do they somehow find a way to push it aside? I wonder if they feel a sense of guilt that gnaws at them, or if they're able to find moments of peace amidst the turmoil.

If there is one thing I learned for the past few days is that I really did forget to do something before I took the life of some sinners before. And that is, I never got the chance to ask them how they feel. And why they're still begging for their life to be spare? Hindi ba nila nais na makawala sa kasalanang nagawa nila sa buhay nila? Dahil sa oras na makaharap nila ang Diyos, mapapawalang sala na sila.

Even though I am His child, a follower of His and I bear one of the most important role for Him, maybe I am still naive. Was it because I didn't ask to learn some more and just stayed behind the knowledge my parents had bestowed upon me?

Everyone is a sinner before they could even be born. That the child inherits the burden of their parent's sin. That's what they said. That's what this book I've been reading for the past few days said. But I completely disagree.

How could an innocent child inherit such crime? A child who cannot think of anything bad? A child that came from the Lord himself? Hindi ba ang isang inosenteng bata na wala pang kamulatan sa kaguluhan at dumi ng mundo ay mahirap pagbintangan ng isang kasalanan?

Paano mo masasabi sa isang batang walang muwang na siya ay katulad ng kaniyang ama na nagnananakaw ng pagmamay-ari ng iba? Na siya ay isa ring taksil katulad ng kaniyang ina gayong ni hindi nila kayang sambitin at ipagbigay alam satuwing may masakit sa kanila o kapag sila dinadalaw na ng gutom. Na hindi nila kayang mamili kung sino ang magiging magulang nila?

Isn't it unfair? That a parent can passed down their sins to their child but a child cannot choose who their parent will be? So that they could choose which kind of sins they would inherit? I shook my head and closed the book, not wanting to finish it. This is a shallow idea at all.

My parent's sins aren't mine. My sins will never be my child. The only moment my child will be a sinner like me is when he decided to imitate the same mistake I've made. Ngunit hangga't hindi nangyayari iyon, hangga't hindi siya gumagawa ng kasalanan sa sarili niyang pagnanais, hindi siya makasalanan. Hindi siya magiging tulad ko.

I smiled bitterly each passing day before I came to that realization. Maybe because at first, I almost believe the author's words. It is powerful enough. The way it was written. The way it was constructed. It almost made me believe. But I remembered Cirolius.

I don't think his parent's sins can be associated with him. Even before he was born and until now. Because he isn't the one who did those. I cannot accept it. Not the man I've given myself with. It's just that... I know he wouldn't. That's when I began to doubt the book and the person behind it, prompting me to encourage myself to reconsider and think more carefully.

Belief can be tied to words in disguise, but a wise mind untangles truth from lies.

It's my third day of reading the book. I think this should stay hidden in the corner. I slid it to its rightful place and cleaned my head from the dust I garnered from holding that. I heard the door opened. I immediately went there.