(ON HOLD)You Know You're My Baby (August Alsina)

My Conscious!

August

I got a lot on my mind as y'all can see the fxckin boys on my axs and I got a lot of people depending on me! Wifey all in her feelings I swear I never seen her get so emotional I mean I've seen her cry but not snap out like that and for me to be the reason is putting a nigxa in a fxcked up predicament! I had to leave I couldn't stay there to listen to her cry and yell and pour out her emotions at that moment. I'm going through shxt and bro not here to give me advice he on my mind hard as hell! "damn bro what would you do?" is all I've been asking as if he was here. This shxt is weighing in heavy on me y'all don't understand what I'm going through!!!

I drove at this lil spot close by the bayou me and bro use to chill at when we had a fxcked up day. We would blow and talk about how shxt would be when we "grew up" well, we grown now and I'm on my own now! Not literally but shxt I am! My other two brothers are mommas boys they follow her where ever she go. Melvin and me was so much alike that's why mommy be on my axs like she do! I rolled me a fatty and smoked my life away.

I thought long and hard about Missy this weed be having a nigxa on some other shxt when it comes to her. I'm thinking we need a break but I don't want her fxckin with no other nigxas and I would have to get use to being without her and ion think I could do that! I love her axs too much! This love shxt is stressful mane I don't want to hurt my bae though she my rib for real ! But i would rather us take some time out to our selves than us hurt each other physically cause Missy known to swing every now and then and I'm known to hit back every now and then and i would hate to have to put my hands on her!

I sat for another hour then drove through the streets until midnight, that's when I made my way home...

When I got to the crib I was expecting Missy to be sleep waiting for me on the couch but she wasn't. All the lights and tv's were off, I figured she was upstairs so I walked slowly and quiet as I could through our room door but she wasn't there either. the fuck!? I thought to myself. I pulled out my phone and called her cell but she wasn't picking up. It's only one person that'll know where she was at and that's Shay Big head axs!

Shay

"yes Missy a bitch is happy you hear me!? Cheese bean head ass is a better nigga than I expected!" I said as me and Missy caught up on our gossip. I could tell she wasn't in the mood but I wanted to cheer my girl up last time we talked was the night of Melvins funeral at her and Augs house and that night ended in tears now I have to sit here and watch my only friend cry once again! I hate it when she cry especially with her being the tuff one out of both of us I'm fxckin August up when I see him!

"Miss cheer up friend you'll be aight that nigga know where his heart at!" I said as i gave her a tight hug. She just cried and cried all I could do was think about how imma beat August lil skinny ass when I see him! I felt Missys phone vibrate on my back as she hugged me.

Missy

"ain't you gone answer for him?"Shay asked as we both stared at the phone as if we didn't recognize the number. "nah I don't know what to say to this dude Shay he is just being so fxckin selfish I can't talk to him right now." I said sending him to voicemail. "no offense Shay but a bxtch need to sleep this shxt off frfr I'm so drained from arguing hollering and crying friend I'm trynna stay up with you but my eyes won't let me" I said in between yawns. "well forget you too then bitch" she said getting up walking away! "just playing see you in the a.m bitch get some rest I'm talking you to death tomorrow" she said pointing at me making silly faces "ok goodnight" i said as i laid across the full sized pillow top mattress in their guest room and drifting off to sleep.

August

"damn she keep sending a nigxa to voicemail it's cool" I said hanging up and dialing Shay number. "wassup nigga!?" she said with attitude that's how i knew she talked to Missy! "where she at Shay?" I said ignoring her attitude. "where who at?" ok now she wonna play the dumb game mane this big head ass gul hea! "Come on Shay stop with the games where she at mane!" i was getting frustrated and Shay wasn't giving me what i wanted so I hung up and called Cheese. He let me know that Missy was over there and I could hear Shay in the background snapping out on him. "I'm on my way over there boa" i said before hanging up and getting in my truck speeding off.

Cheese stayed twenty minutes away from me. He was in the hood but not completely his neighborhood had less violence and people respected each other more it was quite most of the time accept on weekends. I knocked on his door, as i waited for him to come all I could think about was Missy. Damn mommy nem was right she got a nigxa gone! i thought to myself and then Cheese appeared . I walked in and gave him a pound not even looking at Shay big head ass! "wassup mane" Cheese said "man where she at dawg?" i asked making it obvious that I didn't want to hold a conversation he caught on and pointed to his basement door.

I walked down the steps and looked in the room to see Missy sleep and finally from the second i realized she wasn't at home until now a nigxa exhaled! I closed the door quietly then sat on the bed next to her. "Shay I thought I told you i wanted to rest ! bxtch I don't know who is worse at not letting me sleep you or Au- gust!" she said as she turned on her side looking like she seen a ghost! "I think it would be Shay big head axs!" I said as a smirk crept on my face. "what you doing here Anthony !?" she asked as she turned her back towards me laying on her side facing the wall. "Missy, bae we need to talk can we go home?" "no I'm staying here tonight" she said still facing the wall.

I took off my shoes and laid in the bed with her wrapping my arms around her! "August can you stop what are you doing!?" she asked in frustration. "if you staying I'm staying too" "no seriously Anthony what are you doing, why you over here?" she asked sitting up looking down at me with angry eyes. Damn I hate it when she mad! "like I said before we need to talk about us ma." I said getting serious. "what about us August?" "Look bae I know you just as tired as I am of us arguing and fighting then fxcking thinking that thats gone solve everything. Missy i love you bae! I swear I do. Like you always tell me, we were friends before we were anything bae! - "so what are you saying August?" she asked sitting up all the way. I could see the look on her face as if she knew where I was going with this convo. "Missy I just don't want us to end up physically hurting each other don't get it twisted I love you ma we love each other but the shxt I'm going through I have to deal with on my own." I said trying to be as obvious as i could be. "so what are you saying August?" She asked again i could tell she was hurting shxt i was too! my heart was beating fast and I wasn't even sure if i was prepared for what was about to come out of my mouth...

was I ready to put a hold on things with Me and Bae? shxt was I ready to see her hurting once again after I say what i had to say? Am i about to hurt myself with my own decision? Will me and Miss ever be Me and Miss again? damn what will mommy,granny,and my nieces think? Am I ready to break her heart shxt am I ready to break my own heart!???

My conscious was eating me alive! Damn mane why did me and Miss have to fall for each other so hard!?