August 23
Dear Calum,
I remember the day you went missing and how my heart dropped and shattered into a tremendous amount of unfixable pieces when the boys told me. They said they went to your apartment for a boys night of video games and jam sessions, but when they arrived, you weren't there. The only trace you left behind was a note on the kitchen counter saying:
"Don't come looking for me. I'm fine, but just please... Don't."
I couldn't believe it at first, so I called you and it went straight to voicemail; thinking that you'd pick up because you'd always answer my calls, no matter the circumstance.
I did that how ever many times till I realized that you weren't going to answer. I was too in shock to even know how to react, my body felt so overwhelmed, but numbed by the many emotions that were filling up inside me.
Honestly, I feel like what you did was so, so, so selfish of you. You must've known how much this would affect everyone, and you still did it. No goodbyes or farewells whatsoever.
On June 21, I was harshly reminded that nothing is forever.
I try to see the positives in everything you do: like maybe you didn't tell the boys and I that you were leaving because you didn't want to hurt us. Maybe you left because you needed time to yourself, but those are just ideas I've created to see the good in you.
I think you forgot about everyone here that loved you.
Come home.
Yours truly,
Lara x
