The Pros and Cons of Walking the Knifes Edge

Chapter 8

Gavin's P.O.V

"Tonight we're serving the finest chilled vegetables with sliced dairy product, on a bed of aged bread with a helping of tomato puree. The side will be a glass of vintage blood de orange...."

What? Where'd that come from?

But it was funny. He was funny.

I couldn't stop laughing, and before I knew what was going on the chair I was sitting on toppled over, and I went with it. If anything I laughed even harder after that. I think this has been one of the best days I've had in quite a long time... but I'm not complaining...

I like it... I really hope that this is what the days are going to be like now that Matthew and I have actually physically talked to each other, and hopefully I'll finally get to call him mine soon... But I'm kinda scared that he will say no...Is this how everyone feels when they want to ask out there crush. I question myself in my head. If so, then why does it hurt so much. Why does the thought of getting rejected by Matthew feel so...so torturous? I contemplate in my head. Every time I think about it my stomach curls and the pain becomes almost unbearable. 

Then I look at Matthew and his smile just takes all the pain away. Almost like his smile is all I need to reassure me that things won't happen like that. But why....why does my mind always go to the worst possible outcome. I look down and I realize that I ate the sandwich, it was so good, but I didn't get the chance to enjoy it. I was too lost in thought that I didn't realize that I was eating the sandwich. At this point, I hear the door open.