The Pros and Cons of Walking the Knifes Edge

Chapter 3

Matthews P.O.V.

I head downstairs and notice Xavier passed out on the couch. I walk past him and out the door. Where do I go?

The woods.

The woods have always been my happy place. I go there to relax and calm down after I've had a stressful day.

I get close to my spot and I notice someone is already there. I recognize him, but I don't know from where. He looks up at me and I freeze. School. I've seen him in the hallways. His sister gave me his number because he was scared to. He always smiles at me and we always text each other... but we have never physically spoken to one another.

"Hi! My name is Gavin... You're Matthew... Right?" he stands up and is holding his hand out. I start to turn around but he grabs my wrist preventing me from doing so. I wince slightly, trying to hide my face and the pain in my eyes, but he noticed and lets go.

My sleeve was rolled up slightly and I panicked. I quickly covered my wrist as I turned and started to walk back home.

I hear Gavin shout "Why are you leaving!?"

"I..I forgot to do something," I say as I'm walking away. Once I'm home I run up to my room and close my door. As soon as Maxi realizes I'm in my room she starts jumping on me. I bend down and start petting her. After a bit, I get up and head to my washroom. I turn the water on and I start to clean my wrist. Once it's clean I carefully dry it off, and then I wrap it so it doesn't get worse.

After doing so I head downstairs, grab two apples from the kitchen, and walk out the door to go back and talk to Gavin.

I try to think about what I'm going to say to him, but I've got nothing. Gavin has only been at the school for a few months, but it feels like he has been there for as long as I have. He is the sweetest, most caring person I have ever met. I don't even have the words to explain what he means to me.

From the first day I saw him, I knew there was something special about him, but I never could put my finger on what it was until we started texting. His personality is what made me fall for him in the first place, and ever since I have been trying to work up the nerve to tell him how I feel. I get to the spot and Gavin is looking down at the ground. He doesn't realize I am there until I sit down on the grass in front of him.

"Hey..." I say as I scratch the back of my neck.

"You're back..? I... I thought you weren't coming back.." Gavin says quietly, still looking down at the ground.

"I just needed to do a few things at home, but I'm here now," I say, smiling softly. "I uh... I need to tell you something.." Gavin looks up at me with a confused look on his face. "I've wanted to physically talk to you for a while now, I've just been really shy and kinda scared that you wouldn't want to know me once I started talking... Everyone finds me annoying after awhile. But.. what I wanted to tell you is kinda important... And the only way I know how to say this is in a poem.." I say as I look up at Gavin, who is sitting there patiently.

I suck in a long, slow breath as I try, and fail to gather my frantic nerves. The moment seems to drag on forever until I finally start;

"I never thought that I'd find someone,

Who would give me the benefit of the doubt,

Even when I was wrong.

I never had it in me,

To give myself away like this,

I never knew that I could love anyone,

As much as I love you"

When I finished the poem, Gavin had a smile on his face and tears in his eyes. God his smile... It was perfect... He was perfect. I didn't want anyone else, I only wanted him. I've never met someone as perfect as Gavin, and I never thought I would ever have the guts to tell him what I did. As of right now, Gavin is one of the most important things in my life.. and I don't want to ruin that. He doesn't even know the effect he has on me.

Just then I hear Xavier call my name, pulling me out of my still muddled thoughts. "I uh... I should probably head home, that's my brother calling me." A gloom immediately passed over me as I turned to walk away. However, before I could do so much as take one step, my mouth began to move, making sounds I didn't register as words until I'd already said them, "If you'd like you can come along"

It's quiet. I wait for a minute, thinking he needed time to decide, but after what seemed like too long disappointment washed over me. I started walking away when he finally spoke. "Wait!! I'll come with you" Gavin says, almost yelling. At that moment, my heart nearly skipped a beat. As he scrambles to get up, I have this surge of...happiness run throughout my body.

I quietly mutter "Only you could make me feel this way". As a giant smile fills my face.

Gavin looks at me with this amazing smile and asks " What did you say, I didn't catch that?"

My face turned as red as a tomato within seconds. I reply nervously " I..I was just saying th..that I'm glad I got that off my chest...th..that's all."

Gavin came closer to my side as we were walking back to my place. He looked at me with these eyes that sparkled in the light and replied with " It made me happy to hear it, I really liked it." Hearing him say those words filled me with this feeling of....relief. At first, I wasn't sure if he liked it or not, but now I knew. For the rest of the walk home, it was quiet, but my head raced with a thousand thoughts.