Flowerymisha (livejournal)
Jongin wasn't his, but he was always the one on Kyungsoo's mind.
---
A content sigh escaped Kyungsoo's lips as he slowly gained consciousness.
The male blinked sleepily as he stared at the ceiling.
Hm?
Something looked different with his ceiling and Kyungsoo couldn't pinpoint what. Deciding that it was just his imagination, Kyungsoo rolled to his side as he yawned, but his sleepiness immediately vanished when he realized he wasn't in his own room.
It was...wait, he didn't know where it was.
Kyungsoo froze.
The male dragged a hand down his face as he inwardly cussed. Shit. Kyungsoo glanced down only to find out that he was naked—and a bit sore, too. Double shit. Panicked, he sat up and was about to jump off of the bed when he felt a tug on his hand. Kyungsoo held his breath upon hearing a hum and turned his head to the source of the voice.
A male.
A brown-haired male.
A freaking handsome brown-haired male with tanned skin.
Kyungsoo choked on nothing. A wave of memories hit him hard and his cheeks turned crimson, because they weren't exactly mild. Kyungsoo remembered clearly the way the handsome male kissed him last night, how the latter stripped him patiently out of his clothes...and to make it worse, Kyungsoo wasn't drunk.
He was perfectly sober.
Kyungsoo's heartbeat increased dramatically at the thought. A second later, his inner self screamed that he should run away and go home instead of spacing out in a stranger's bed. Kyungsoo then attempted to slide off of the bed, again, but he forgot that his fingers were still linked with the other male's. Holding his breath, he carefully detached his hand, doing his best not to wake the stranger beside him. Kyungsoo was distracted for a second at how small his hand was compared to the other male's, but he quickly snapped himself out of it and managed to get away.
Don't wake up just yet, Kyungsoo inwardly begged when he heard movement from the bed. He cautiously glanced over his shoulder as he reached out for his scattered clothes on the floor, but fortunately, the brown-haired male was still sleeping. Kyungsoo got dressed in a record time and rushed toward the door.
Curious, Kyungsoo paused to take a look around the place.
The apartment was huge, but there weren't many furnitures. Instead, the room was full with a lot of paintings, both on the floor and on the walls. Lots of...modern art paintings. Too modern that he didn't really get what they were all about.
Is that...flowers? Or...wolves? Or...humans?
Kyungsoo shifted his gaze back to the general direction of the bedroom.
Is he into art...?
The room was so quiet that Kyungsoo could hear the birds chirping outside. He turned around, recalling his intention to run away in the first place and quickly grabbed his shoes. He didn't bother to put them on, he just wanted to get away as soon as possible.
When Kyungsoo placed his hand on the door handle, he paused to peer over his shoulder for one last look, trying to remember the handsome male's name.
Jongin.
Because he was definitely not going to go there anymore.
***
Kyungsoo had just broke up with Hyunsik last night.
They had only been dating for several months, but their days were always filled with arguments.
Everything seemed wrong in Hyunsik's eyes. It started from simple things like the way Kyungsoo styled his hair or the way he responded to Hyunsik's texts. Mostly it was the way Kyungsoo dressed, but really, the male just had something to protest in everything Kyungsoo did. The doe-eyed male kept everything inside at the first weeks, but as their relationship evolved to months, he easily snapped back in irritation, not wanting to be blamed for everything anymore. It wasn't his fault if Hyunsik didn't like him for who he was...
Kyungsoo felt like pulling his hair in frustration every time an argument happened. Sometimes he just wished Hyunsik would understand that he wasn't a kid anymore, that he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted. And it wasn't like Kyungsoo forbid Hyunsik from doing anything—he wanted the black-haired male to feel comfortable with their relationship, and that was exactly what he did.
They hadn't talked to each other since their last argument a few days ago, and Kyungsoo helplessly thought it had been a while. It was too long already. It was time for them to kiss and make up. With that in mind, he called his boyfriend to meet over dinner, wishing everything would go back to the way it was.
Everything was fine at first, until Kyungsoo stumbled upon Chanyeol, his high-school friend. Hyunsik's expression drastically changed at the excitement Kyungsoo showed—because they hadn't met each other since years ago, and the next thing he knew, they were arguing.
Again.
Kyungsoo thought Hyunsik was being very ridiculous this time, because Chanyeol was an old friend, and nothing more. Besides, Chanyeol was with his boyfriend, whom Kyungsoo didn't get the chance to ask the name because Hyunsik had pulled him away abruptly.
Needless to say, Kyungsoo had gotten so angry that he half-shouted at the other male that they were over. Without waiting for any reply, he turned around to get away as far as possible. Kyungsoo felt his head was boiling with anger. He was so furious that he didn't think he would be able to forgive Hyunsik this time.
Usually, whenever he fought with Hyunsik, Kyungsoo would go straight home. He would lock himself in the bedroom or take a long shower in the bathroom to calm down.
But not that night.
Kyungsoo decided that the only thing that would calm him down was a glass (or preferably a bottle) of alcohol, so he went to the club instead. He planned to order only two, three glasses max. His anger slowly dissipated as he downed the drinks he ordered. By the time Kyungsoo reached for his third glass, the male pondered quietly to himself as he took his cell phone out of his pocket.
Perhaps Hyunsik...
Kyungsoo was wrong.
No text messages at all.
No missed calls whatsoever.
Maybe, it was really over this time.
Kyungsoo took a deep breath as he put his glass away. Funny how he was supposed to feel sad, but he felt nothing but relieved at the moment. Hyunsik was a nice guy, but if the relationship kept on going like this...wasn't it better to just separate...? Kyungsoo smiled sadly to himself and sighed as he stood up. He was just going to go home...and probably weep.
That was when Jongin came into the picture.
The place was pretty crowded that night, and Jongin just happened to lean so close against Kyungsoo when he ordered for a drink. The other male's elbow accidentally nudged Kyungsoo by the shoulder as he took out a few bills from his wallet.
Kyungsoo glanced up in dismay. Of all the people the male could squish, why must it be him? He really wasn't in the mood to act nice. But his any other thoughts instantly vanished when their eyes connected. Kyungsoo automatically drew in a sharp breath, but fortunately with the loud music, it was inaudible.
It only took three seconds for Jongin to first break into a smile. Either it was because Kyungsoo already had too many drinks or because Jongin's smile was simply dazzling, but it made him nervous. Kyungsoo was the first one to look away, missing the disappointed look on Jongin's face. His heart beat so fast like he had just accidentally met an idol that he had been wanting to meet. The feeling was bothering him and Kyungsoo hastily slid off of the stool, wanting to get out of there, but he was unable to do so because Jongin had caught his wrist.
Kyungsoo was so stunned that he couldn't even do anything when Jongin forced him to turn around, meeting their eyes one more time. Kyungsoo made the mistake of swallowing, and Jongin made the mistake of thinking that Kyungsoo wanted it just as much.
But maybe Kyungsoo did.
One moment, they were chatting, and the next moment, they were kissing.
Kyungsoo had never thought such sensation existed.
It was a wonder how Jongin's big hand seemed to burn on his skin, on every place that he touched. It was a wonder how Kyungsoo let Jongin explored his cavern, simply because the latter had inquisitively glided his tongue on his lower lip. It was a wonder how Kyungsoo didn't mind at all when Jongin took him back to his apartment. The doe-eyed male let Jongin guided him, held him, thrusted into him...
And when it happened, Kyungsoo didn't remember Hyunsik at all.
Jongin was all he could remember.
***
Kyungsoo absentmindedly gazed at his untouched cup of tea.
Several days had passed since his encounter with Jongin.
Kyungsoo couldn't help but wonder if the tan male had ever looked for him. They never exchanged phone numbers, and Kyungsoo decided to never go back to the club... Jongin also didn't know where he lived. Sometimes, Kyungsoo wondered if he should've stayed, but a phone call from Hyunsik on the next morning made him realize that he was making the right decision.
How could he ditch everything for a one night stand...?
A beautiful, breathtaking, mind-blowing one night stand...?
Kyungsoo sincerely hoped that the moment he saw Hyunsik, he would feel again. He hoped his heart would thrum so fast against his ribcage like it was about to leap out. He hoped that he would bloom into a smile when their fingers linked as they both apologized. He hoped his heart would scream at him that he's the one and you're an idiot for letting him go. Kyungsoo hoped for a hundred things, but when he saw Hyunsik walking into the coffee-shop, his heart sank.
He was not the one.
"Kyungsoo...?"
Kyungsoo snapped back to reality and blinked apologetically at Hyunsik. "I'm sorry. What was it again?"
Hyunsik sighed. "I said, it's been a while since we talked..."
"Oh." Oh. "Yeah..."
The two of them remained quiet after that. Kyungsoo continued to gaze at his drink, suddenly losing the feel to drink it. It had been some time since they met at the coffee-shop, but Hyunsik hadn't ordered anything yet. The black-haired male took notice of their suffocating silence and cleared his throat.
"I'm gonna order something...do you want a cake?"
Kyungsoo shook his head. "I'm good. Thank you..."
Hyunsik only nodded as he rose and headed to the counter.
Kyungsoo immediately sagged in his seat with a hand on his forehead. Shit. It was obviously different than the last time. The atmosphere was so awkward and neither of them apologized! Kyungsoo suddenly wasn't sure if their relationship had really ended. If Hyunsik had called him to meet, then it must meant that he wanted to fix what had happened...right?
Right?
Kyungsoo glanced at the counter only to see that Hyunsik was done with his order. He sunk his teeth on his lower lip as he watched Hyunsik pouring more sugar into his cup. Kyungsoo got distracted at the sound of the bell chiming—as a sign that another customer had entered the place. He lazily threw his glance at the entrance, but it was probably a mistake.
No, it was definitely a mistake.
Kyungsoo visibly stiffened.
Jongin.
Kyungsoo blanched.
He sank lower in his seat, wistfully hoping that Jongin didn't notice him. Kyungsoo covered his face with a hand, mentally screaming because Jongin looked around the place—maybe for an empty table. Please, please, don't look this way—
"Kyungsoo?"
Hyunsik called out the moment he went back to their table. The taller of the two covered Kyungsoo's view of Jongin perfectly and he breathed in relief. Kyungsoo hoped Jongin would just order whatever it was he came for and left as soon as possible. However, when Hyunsik had claimed back the empty seat across him, Kyungsoo knew he was terribly wrong.
Jongin was still staring.
Right at his table.
Their gazes collided and Kyungsoo went mentally panicked. He made the mistake of standing up, because it actually just made Jongin certain that he wasn't mistaken. Kyungsoo mumbled 'bathroom' to Hyunsik before quickening his steps to the bathroom. Don't follow me don't follow me don't follow—
Kyungsoo could feel his heart racing. An irrational thought came across him—a stupid, or should he say brilliant idea—about running away from the bathroom's window or even the backdoor. But before he managed to do one of those things, someone had grabbed his arm abruptly. Kyungsoo almost screamed when he was pushed against the cold wall.
"Kyungsoo."
Kyungsoo whimpered when Jongin said his name, and it felt as if all of his strength was being taken away from him. Jongin's scent lingered in the air, and Kyungsoo inhaled deeply because of the familiar smell. Strange, how it had only been several days, but it felt like an eternity... Kyungsoo unconsciously grabbed Jongin's arm as he shut his eyes.
"Oh gosh, it's really you," Jongin breathed too close to Kyungsoo's face. "Why did you leave the other day...?"
"Don't," Kyungsoo whispered warningly, but it was obvious that Jongin didn't care.
"You didn't even wake me up, you didn't even leave your number—"
"Jongin, don't..." Kyungsoo moaned in exasperation. "This isn't the right time..."
"Do you have any idea how desperate I was looking for you? I went back to the club everyday, but you weren't there. I waited for days, waiting for you to show up. I was hoping you would show up, Kyungsoo. I knew I should've just taken you back to your apartment that night so that I know where you live—"
"Jongin, my boyfriend is outside."
Jongin fell silent and there was a hint of dislike plastered all over his face. Kyungsoo gulped at the tan male's expression, mentally kicking himself for saying that. First, it was still unclear whether he was still dating Hyunsik or not. And second...why did Kyungsoo feel terrified that Jongin would snap at him?
"Boyfriend." Jongin sounded indignant.
Kyungsoo swallowed. Uh-oh.
"Your phone," Jongin said through his gritted teeth.
"Eh?"
"I said your phone. Now."
Kyungsoo was still in confusion, but he hastily handed Jongin his phone when the latter glared at him. Jongin stared at the screen momentarily, he seemed to search for something. When he finally got what he was looking for, the taller of the two quickly typed something on the phone, and within seconds, Kyungsoo heard his delivery report coming in.
"Done," Jongin stated. "I'm gonna turn off your phone now. And you're going to come with me."
Kyungsoo's eyes widened in shock, but he was unable to do anything but oblige when Jongin grabbed him by the elbow.
***
They were heading to Jongin's apartment—again.
Which was probably a good decision, because if they went to Kyungsoo's apartment, Hyunsik would probably go there.
Kyungsoo's shoulders sagged at the thought of Hyunsik. He had the sudden urge to call him, to simply apologize for leaving the other male so suddenly—or for whatever it was that Jongin had texted. But when Jongin clicked his tongue in protest when Kyungsoo took his phone out of his pocket, he reluctantly put the device back and did nothing more than that.
Memories of their first night together came back to Kyungsoo as they stepped into Jongin's apartment. There were still a lot of paintings on the floor. In fact, they seemed to have multiplied in numbers. Kyungsoo's curiosity grew and he was about to ask Jongin whose paintings were they, but the tan male had already dragged him into the bedroom.
Jongin gently pushed Kyungsoo to the bed just like last time. But the difference was that this time, Kyungsoo tried to fight.
"Jongin, no!" Kyungsoo cried weakly as he tried to push Jongin away. It was futile, because there was nothing he could do since Jongin was at least twice stronger than him. He did his best not to stay still, as a sign that no, he didn't want him to, but it only made Jongin grabbed his wrists to stop him from squirming. "Jongin, I said—"
"Don't fight me, Kyungsoo."
Kyungsoo visibly stiffened.
"Please, don't fight me..."
There was something about Jongin's tone that made Kyungsoo quiver. Jongin then leaned closer to rest his head on Kyungsoo's neck, kissing it softly, and Kyungsoo fluttered his eyes close in return. The way Jongin kissed him was careful and gentle, and as long as it stayed that way, Kyungsoo didn't mind...
"Can I kiss you here...?" Jongin brushed his fingers lightly on Kyungsoo's waist. "I promise I will just kiss it, and nothing else..."
Kyungsoo was about to say wait, but Jongin had dove down without waiting for any reply. A loud gasp escaped his lips as Jongin pulled up the end of his shirt. The tan male deliberately unzipped Kyungsoo's jeans, hooking his index finger on the waistband of the latter's underwear before pulling it down to reveal more skin.
Jongin's lips were a bit chapped so it kind of hurt at first. But then he seemed to realize this and wetted his lips before continuing to press his lips on Kyungsoo's side. It got Kyungsoo to jerk his hips and instinctively threw his head back when he felt Jongin's thumbs were pressing the lower part of his stomach, dangerously close to his crotch.
"J—Jongin, it tickles..."
"I know," Jongin casually murmured against his skin, like it was no big deal. "I know your sensitive spots..."
"Y—you do? Oh—"
Kyungsoo bit his lower lip hard to prevent himself from moaning, but it was difficult. The areas where Jongin kissed turned out to be his sensitive spots, and how did the male find out about it only from their first time, Kyungsoo didn't think he wanted to know. Kyungsoo curled his fingers into fists, not wanting to touch Jongin's hair or did something that he would later regret. The sensation from Jongin's lips were tickling enough, and it just added more friction when the handsome male's hair brushed against his skin.
Jongin broke his promise by turning his kisses into something even more intimate. He pulled down Kyungsoo's jeans until they were stuck in the latter's ankles, but he didn't bother to take them off. Jongin leaned down to nibble on the Kyungsoo's inner thighs.
"Jongin—"
Kyungsoo let out a throaty, needy moan and this time he was unable to hold himself from touching Jongin. One of his hands finally flew to Jongin's hair, while the other hand clutching the sheet tightly. From the hair, somehow Kyungsoo's hand had made its way to Jongin's cheek. Something told Kyungsoo that Jongin was smiling slightly when he touched his cheek, but then Jongin shifted from his left thigh to the right one, biting gently on his skin.
He gave up completely after that.
Kyungsoo gave up, surrendering himself to Jongin, letting the other male did whatever he pleased. He didn't know how long had it been, but it must have been quite some time when Jongin crawled up to catch his lips and Kyungsoo kissed back with no hesitation. Jongin's lips were hot, and Kyungsoo felt himself burning with desire.
A string of saliva was there between their lips when Kyungsoo opened his eyes—which he had no idea since when he had them closed—and Kyungsoo sighed when Jongin ran a thumb on his lips, wiping the liquid away.
"You're hard," Jongin said teasingly, but his smile indicated otherwise.
It was then Kyungsoo realized that his jeans were completely stuck on his ankles and that his thighs were exposed. He blushed fiercely when Jongin took a moment to stare at his exposed skin. Kyungsoo was about to push Jongin away when he caught the bulge in Jongin's pants.
"Jongin," Kyungsoo whispered nervously. "You're...too..."
"How do you expect me to stay sane after you let me kiss you?" Jongin muttered softly as he playfully poked Kyungsoo's cheek. "It's your fault for making me like this..." The male smiled somewhat sheepishly. "Here, let me finish it for you..."
Jongin was about to touch Kyungsoo's crotch when the latter grabbed his arm before he was able to touch anything. Jongin frowned at him, but Kyungsoo shyly shook his head and pressed his lips against Jongin's. Jongin looked shocked and perplexed at the same time. Kyungsoo only smiled in return. He simply tugged Jongin's jeans down, as if to say that he wanted it off.
"Just this once..."
It was probably a really subtle hint, but Jongin understood what it meant. The tan male shifted closer to Kyungsoo with a hesitant expression. "I can...?"
Kyungsoo nodded, feeling his chest filled with too many happiness. "You can..."
"I can make love to you again...?" Jongin asked, his voice was laced with admixture of disbelief and happiness. "You'll let me...?"
Kyungsoo thought he had probably lost his mind when he said it loud and clear,
"Please..."
"Gladly," Jongin whispered as he kissed Kyungsoo's cheek. "But take it back first."
"Huh...?"
"'Just this once'. Take it back, Kyungsoo."
Kyungsoo blushed fiercely. "You—you mean—"
"Yes. Take it back," Jongin said stubbornly. "I will not stop until you're mine, Kyungsoo. I don't care if you have a boyfriend."
Kyungsoo felt his head spinning as Jongin pushed him back.
"Think of only me, Kyungsoo."
***
Kyungsoo had no idea that Jongin actually liked to talk after they were done.
After they made love—because it was too deep to be considered 'just sex', although Kyungsoo himself wasn't sure—it just kind of happened. So they started talking with low, sleepy tones. Jongin played with Kyungsoo's fingers when they spoke, and just by a simple act, Kyungsoo felt utterly loved.
Jongin's voice was beautifully quiet in the room and his shoulders shook slightly when he chuckled. Kyungsoo fluttered his eyes whenever Jongin's fingers brushed against his cheeks, his eyelashes, his lips... Their sweaty feet tangled together underneath the blanket, but it was all right.
As long as it was Jongin, Kyungsoo didn't mind.
Kyungsoo slowly drifted to a deep slumber with Jongin's soothing voice in his ears, telling him something along the lines of 'love'.
It was the second time he woke up before Jongin in the morning, but this time, Kyungsoo didn't panic. Unlike last time, he didn't sit up and hastily ran away. He was only a bit confused for a moment, as to why he wasn't in his own bed, but then he remembered. The older male took his time to take a good look at Jongin's sleeping state.
It must've been reflex when Kyungsoo leaned to press his lips against Jongin's. Jongin's lips were so soft, or was it because his own was too...? The kiss lasted for few seconds and Kyungsoo was the first one to pull away. He held his breath when the tan male stirred in his sleep, but the latter didn't wake up. A smile was etched across Kyungsoo's face as he stole another kiss.
Kyungsoo didn't know what he felt, but whatever it was, it was wrong. The feeling of wanting to stay was terrifyingly big, but he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. Something inside him was begging him to stay, to sort everything out. To ensure what he was feeling, to find out what he really wanted...but the other part of him told him that he was scared. Kyungsoo was afraid because what he felt toward Jongin was very much the same with what he had felt toward Hyunsik.
And it was ten times bigger.
But Jongin wasn't Kyungsoo's boyfriend.
Hyunsik is.
The thought of Hyunsik made his mood drop like someone had just told him that he had a mission to save the world. Kyungsoo sighed softly as he glanced at the curtained window. He didn't need to look at the clock to know that the sun was already high.
Kyungsoo slowly shifted, doing his best to slide off of the bed with minimum sound, but something tugged in his hand. He was taken aback when he realized his fingers were still intertwined with Jongin's. Their hands were just loosely laced, but it was enough to prevent Kyungsoo from going. He almost gave in to his instinct, but then he inwardly scolded himself because he needed to leave.
But he would be back.
Because he wasn't running away this time.
