The only feeling that doesn't have one. It's complicated. It makes you feel nothing. And when your numb nothing around you feels real. Nothing matters. Your brain is a pile of mush rambling inside your head. The hardest part is getting it to mould into a solid piece of emotion. There are many many things you can do to mould your pain. To distract your mind from falling into mush. You can poke it and squeeze it. What are you gonna feel... nothing?
Your mind is it's own you can help it. Care for it. Guide it. But you can't always control how it thinks. A lot of the times you'll shut down if you think too deep. If it becomes too overwhelming. You deal with all of the same overwhelming nesses for so long that your mind will shut down. It won't let you think anything. And if it does and your numb. It's negative it's hurtful. Painful. It's a long annoying feeling only negative. Darkness. It eats you up inside. You wanna pull out but it's too late. You wanna be happy and feel. You need to feel. It becomes a necessity. Feeling something will make you not be "numb" it's a terrible excuse. I'm learning there are more positive ways to feel "unnumbed" most times when you feel numb you do negative things it's the only things you ever think about. There is more to negative when you're feeling down. When your feeling numb.
You have to dig deep farther than you think your mind will allow you. You might even need help with it. And that's perfectly okay don't be afraid to ask for help. And if you fail you don't hold yourself down for it cause there are much bigger things you beat yourself down for. Much, much bigger things. Although it's never good to do. Again, nobody's perfect. You are gonna have times where you are useless. It's the harsh truth. But to see the positive in the harsh truth is when you gain the strength to "unnumb" yourself you are stronger, your more courageous, you may even be a little smarter than when you felt at your low. You learned something. You did. You may not physically see it or mentally notice it... but you did. You were able to pull yourself out. For some people, they never get what they need to pull out of they're "numb". One day. There's a day for everyone. To leave the planet. Some call it heaven. Or an afterlife. Simply just dying. So while your here. Focus on the good. The positive. Maybe but 100% of your time. But if you spend your good times thinking of bad. You're messing up times you can remember. The joyous times. The memorable ones. Go out and explore. Create a bucket list. Start it out small. Some say reach for the moon. Okay, go for it. But on the way there write small fragments. Each constellation comes before the moon. Set a goal for yourself. Find a way to distract yourself. When you sit and think it becomes an overwhelming thought. And then... you know what comes next. Avoid it. Do everything in your power to take a step further from your "numb". My numb is a lot of things mixed into one. I don't break it down into sad, depressed, gloomy, closed off, introverted, confused, overthinking my negative. Many more things I simply can't put into words. My numb is painful. Most numbs are. The word might sound dumb. It sounds like it has to mean. Create your own meaning for it. You might be the same as mine. It might be slightly different. Or a complete 180 degrees meaning of numb. Whatever yours may be. Avoid it. That's one thing I can't stress enough. And I get the "It's easier said than done". I'm aware. But I also know that you are capable of avoiding it. Everyone is. Some it takes a longer time. Some block it out. And that's okay. Some dwell on it, and for those who do. You'll notice your there, in your "numb". Once you're out of taking a deep breath. Picture yourself locking you're numb into a wooden chess, use your key! Lock it. Look at your key. Now, there's an ocean. Stand as close as you can buy it. Build the strength. Lift the key up and over your head. Now throw it. Watch it fly. Fly far far away. Until you can't see it anymore. Now your "numb" is gone. The key might float back if so. You are strong, you will beat it. For you, throwing the keep might be every day. It might be once! sometimes multiple times a day. And that is okay. As long as you realize your key is gone. The weight is off your chest. And for others. Your key might come once a week, once a month, twice a month. It's all okay. Your key is gone. Your mind is positive. You are stronger than before. Trust me.
