Just Another Fairy Tale: Trail to the Dark Side

Chapter 19: DIY Defence Plan

It was the next morning and I arose from my bedchambers to Naomi hitting a small bell. Y'know that one moment when you wake up and there is not a care in the world. But then, ten seconds later, "You mother has gone off to go kill your father. I suggest you go after her. I tried my best to make her stay, but when she is determined, she is determined."

I rolled over and pounded my head on my pillow.

"What seems to be the matter Zozo?"

"Could you just act like a normal human being for once?"

"I'll try. I gave up that life quite a while ago."

"You gave up that life a few months ago."

"Oh, yeah."

"Don't act all surprised Naomi! It's only come to the death of my family." I sarcastically mattered.

"What?"

"Nothing," I flipped back over and stared at the ceiling.

"Well, my old life used to be constraint adventure and wild eyes, all over the fucking place."

"Would you please go back to that for one day? I really need it."

"Fine, Zofia."

"Good little handmaid."

She peered up at me, "And don't treat me like I'm some dog."

"Deal."

"Deal. I think we should go find the old crew. Fauna and Antony."

"You mean Antony and Antony."

"What happened to Fauna? Wait... is she... is she still walking this Earth? She didn't... she couldn't... awww!" She began balling.

"Calm down Naomi! She's just with her damn fool of a dad. Or she's the damn fool. Y'know, life is just so confusing nowadays. It's so hard to know who the damn fool is!"

I heard a small giggle come out of Naomi and then I felt much much much better about this whole damn thing. We would be back to our old ways. The old three-some... wait... that sounds kinda bad. The old trio. Now that sounds like a much more adequate term to use for a group of three people who investigate things together.

"So are we gonna go grab Antony and find your mother or what?"

"Good idea. Come on!" I waved my hand.

"Shouldn't you get dressed?" Naomi inquired.

"Better idea. I don't wanna go out there in my nighty nights."

"I can't believe you still call them that! You are like, way older than me and I don't even say that!"

"That's because I'm much more sophisticated than you." I flipped my hair in a shunning motion.

"Showoff."

So I got dressed, well, Naomi dressed me. I wore my sleuthing dress. A seafoam green ankle length dress. With a corset, of course! I wear them quite often, I find that you get used to them as long as you gradually tighten them. I started out with 18 inches, and they got smaller and smaller. Now I can do 7! I know it doesn't seem like a spectacular thing to be proud of. But I'm a princess and that is the only thing I have to be proud of. I mean, my handmaids do most everything for me. At least this is something that I can work myself up to doing. Well, I suppose something I can work my body up to do. Hell, it's not like I tighten my own corset. And yes, I know that there have been people going around saying corsets are not good for your health. But who's counting? I haven't broken a single rib. Well, maybe one... two... but that's beside the point. To look beautiful is to be royalty, as said by the highest high society. And I need to fit the suit to be who I am. So maybe I am a bit of a hypocrite like Landon said, but I have good intentions for the most part. I really need to get that dude off my mind.

Well, when I was all prim and proper for our outing... adventure actually... well... I don't know what to call it. Anywho, when Naomi and I were ready we hopped downstairs and grabbed Antony from the guest room, in which he had stayed the night.

"Dude!" I waved my hand in his room, "Come on, we're gonna go another life-threatening journey."

"Again?! We just got back from one," he grunted.

"Shut up and come with us."

"Fine." he grabbed his go bag, which was always full in case of moments like this, and joined us.

When we got outside, we were surprised to see my mother standing with her horse in the front yard waiting.

"What are you doing here mom? I thought we were gonna have to go out and find you? Heck, I thought we were gonna find you trying to kill dad."

"Do you really think that I would go out and do a stupid thing like that? I know you, and I know that if I ran out you would go after me. And if I didn't run out you would go out and find your father yourself. And I'm not about to go let you kill your father all on your own now. That should be an experience shared with your mother."

"What?! I'm not gonna go kill dad!"

"What!?" they all said, shocked at my response.

"Now how on Earth are you gonna defeat your father and that slutty bitch without killing them both? Why it's preposterous!"

"No."

"Yes dear! Your father is a monster that deserves to be slaughtered."

"How could you possibly say that about dad?"

"Because he is a cheating bastard."

"Okay, you actually got a valid point there."

"See, mother always knows best. As quoted from Mother Gothel"

"Please, never associate yourself to a malevolent sorceress. No matter how much it is accurate."

"Okay, but how do you expect to conquer your father and Raven?"

Naomi decided that she had a role in all of this too and chimed in, "I have an approach. It's risky but it might just work"

We all gazed at her, waiting for her idea.

"Well?" Antony tried to get her to spill the beans.

"Oh yeah, sorry," she blushed, "I think that we should go in there and wing it."

"Wing it?!" I responded angrily.

"Well," my mother added on, "We don't have anything else. And really, it's now or never."

"Okay, mom. Let's do this crazy thing." we all put our hands in the middle of us all and flung them in the air like we were some preppy cheer squad.

"Now let's go kick some ass!" Naomi screamed.

"Finally, our little Naomi is back. Our ass-kicking, superstar Naomi." I rubbed my hand on her head, messing up her neat little bun.