never be » lrh book one

Chapter 21

R E C K L E S S D R I V I N G C A U S E S
A F U C K T O N O F P A I N

Sam's POV

Today, while Ashton and I were hanging out at his favorite pub, he began to have a really deep conversation with me. I had never known have the stuff he told me, but in the moment I was really happy he told me.

We were sitting at the counter, both having drinks since Ash knew the owner and let us get off the hook. We were talking to the bartender, just having a casual conversation. Then, the bartender, who's name I have yet to learn, disappeared behind two doors into the kitchen. This is when Ash began to get deep.

"Sam," He turned in his seat to look at me, his eyes told me he wasn't very happy. "I just, I feel like I don't belong anywhere in the world. Maybe my life isn't the worst, but I'm so depressed. It seems like I can't find happiness in anything or anyone. It's killing me from the inside out and I don't know what to do. Therapy doesn't help, I've tried it. I don't feel like I have a reason to live. And besides, what's the fucking point? Who wants to live in this shitty world anyway?" He stopped, looking me up and down. "Nothing I do will ever matter to anyone. So what's the god damn point?"

I sat there for awhile. What he was saying was true, but no one as average as us will be able to make a lasting impact on the world. Before I could speak, his phone started ringing. I saw it was Calum, and since Calum is the kind of guy who only texts, I knew it was important. "Answer it," I told him.

Ash picked up his phone and listened closely. "Woah woah woah, Cal, calm down." He said firmly, "What happened?"

Since the bar was mostly empty, I heard Cal's voice but couldn't make out the words. Halfway through, Ashton's face when pale, his jaw clenched, and he pursed his lips. "Okay, we'll be there soon." He then hung up. The second the call was over, his hands were covering his face and he was shaking.

"Ashton, what the hell happened?" I asked, my hand now on his shoulder, the other on his wrist.

"We have to go, Sam." He mumbled, wiping his eyes and standing up, speed walking towards the exit. I had to jog after him.

"Ashton," I spoke in a kind of loud voice, clearly pressing the issue. He turned around as he was walking to his car.

"It's Michael. He's in the hospital. Car accident. In surgery now." His sentences were short, he was holding back tears. My heart sank to my feet. I ran to Jet Black and got in.

Then, we were off to the hospital.

* * *

When we got there, Calum and Luke were already there. They were sitting in the waiting room with Michael's parents. Luke stood up when he saw me enter the room, Ashton trailing behind me. I ran to Luke and jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. I'm not sure I'd be able to sit here if Luke wasn't here.

Ash and Cal exchanged a hug. It was quick. Then we all sat down. I cried into Luke's chest for awhile, then finally calmed down by the time a nurse arrived to give us an update.

"It's a risky procedure," She told us, "But it's his only option. They're doing it now. I'll be back to update you when they've finished." Then, she was gone again. It was so painful, just sitting there.