To Love Or Not To Love

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I sneak out in the middle of the night. I hate being in my office. Instinctively, I went to Alisha's office before I realized that I'm mad at her.

Instead, I do rounds. I scrub in on two surgeries before my mother comes to drag me away from the operation theatre.

I clutch onto the door like I'm hanging on the last thread of hope.

"Let me be, mother! I rested for almost twenty minutes." I yell at her. Some of my colleagues laugh at me from the inside, so I let go of the door and step outside, glaring at my mother for ruining my reputation.

"You have a child growing inside of you. You need to rest and eat on time from now. It wasn't like before. You have to be responsible. You know what? I brought chocolate. Don't you want chocolate?"

I have another scheduled surgery, so I can't give in to her bribes. Except, she pulls out the two Cadbury chocolates, and my eyes widen in surprise. I thought she was tricking me. I swipe for the goodness, except she pulls away, and I glare at her like a child, folding my arms over my chest.

Tears start to brim my eyes and I have no clue why. Uh, I hate having these hormones. "Oh, my child's crying," my mother coos, before she drags me, like a toddler, back to my office.

"I hate you mother." I murmur, and she chuckles at my whining.

"I can't believe this child is going to be raising another child." She says, gripping my hands tighter as she drags me along.

"I'm not a child," I whine.

"Prove it then. Eat the food I give you, and sleep. Be responsible."

"Fine." My mother knows exactly which string to pull. She's the puppeteer.

As I walk back to my office, we cross Aniket's private ward. I stop and stare at the door. My mother turns, curious as to why I'm not following. "Please, mother. Let me stay. I promise, I'll act like a proper lady. Please." I beg her, and she frowns, shaking her head.

"I forbid you from seeing him again. He's not good for you." She says solemnly.

"Then why did you marry me to him? When I start to love him, you restrict me from seeing my husband." I look at her for any signs of guilt. "You know what? I'm a major. I'm married. I get to make my own decisions."

I pull away from her and enter Aniket's room. It feels good to disobey her. Why hadn't I done this before?

I sit in the chair beside Aniket's gurney, and ruffle his hair. Someone coughs and I look up to see the whole family sitting on the sofa and looking at me like I've lost my marbles.

"Geez, have you looked in the mirror lately, Krithi?" Preesha asks, lifting a perfectly trimmed eyebrow.

I touch my hair. I hadn't showered in like two days, so I wonder what I look like. I struggle towards the bathroom, and take a good look at myself. "I'm hideous." I murmur, taken aback by my own reflection. My long braided hair is partially lose, like I've recently had a fight with a monkey. I have deep, dark circles in my eyes that makes me look like I'm eighty. My eyes and cheeks have swollen, and they possess a bloody shade of redness. My clothes are wrinkled, and my shirt and floor length skirt is splattered with blood. Mostly Aniket's.

I sigh. If Aniket looks at me this way, then he will definitely will try to divorce me. Not happening.

I make a beeline to the door, where my mother is still standing. My mother gives a thumbs up to Preesha and I huff. They tricked me.

I turn around to go back, but I see Aniket stirring awake, so I turn back to face my smirking mother.

How does she look so good in midst of all this?

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