Stripped to the Heart

Chapter 23 - You need to know something

"What about this one? You always pull off red and look hot" I blushed a bit as Joy held up a skimpy mermaid dress that was a deep red. It could be pulled off by someone with blonde hair and the blue eyes that I pride myself on, the blue will stand out against the red. "Yeah, I think that one is good." Joy and I were out shopping, getting ready for my birthday party which was coming up.

It was going to be in my house and there would be non-alcoholic drinks only, thanks to last year's party which I don't want to talk about. It could be classed as part of my 'history' that should not be talked about. I made a list this morning about what Joy deserves to know and I figured most of it, although I was careful to leave out the serious parts.

"Hello? Anna are you in there? Talk to me" Joy had woken me up from a daydream and I was glad, we had already gotten everything we needed for my party which would be held on Saturday in two weeks. "Yeah, I'm here and I have to tell you something..." she looked at me expectantly and I slowed my breathing before repeating the words that had been circling my brain.

"Joy, you should know that whatever happens I was really glad to have you as a best friend, ok?" I paused and looked at her to see her nodding in confusion. "When I was ten, Jack had been doing things with me for 4 years, I had just started to realise that this wasn't proper behaviour and one night my parents walked in and saw us. That was when my brother started to see Wendy, she wanted to see me too, so one day I attended. She pulled me aside for a moment and called me fat, worthless and stupid. I didn't care but she became very protective of Jack, I didn't like it, even though what he did to me was wrong I still loved him. As a sibling, nothing more. Wendy saw us getting closer and talked to me again. Except this time she slapped me and kicked me, my parents saw and tried to get a new therapist. It worked but Jack became depressed and they had no choice but to set him back up with her, they decided it would be good to keep our distance. So they sent me off to boarding school, while I was there I found drugs, alcohol and boys." I looked over to see Joy crying and I continued to speak, I wanted to finish before I asked for her thoughts.

"I went off the rails, I became depressed and gained insomnia, I tried to commit suicide the first time when I was 14 and at the boarding school. I filled a bath with Gin and Tonic, my favourite drink and hopped in. I spilt acid into it first and I began to burn, I was happy to die then and there. But my principal came in and saw the acid bucket and pulled me out. He called an ambulance and after that I was kept under a watchful eye, my second attempt was when I jumped out of the second floor window, it didn't work and I only broke my leg." Joy was full on sobbing now and I just had to finish, to take the weight off my shoulders.

"The reason I did this was because no one was there for me, I spent my holidays at the school with my principal. The only time I had fun was when I crashed parties and took drugs, my life was shit. I really was quite fat but I lost a lot of it when I was in hospital, recovering from an overdose. The school gave up on me and I was wasted everyday, no one supported me I was on my own. There were no friends waiting for me, to help me. My only relief was when my parents finally took me back, after Wendy died. I felt disliked but I forced myself to listen to them tell me why they left me, I always doubt them. I forced myself to go to the gym everyday, just to get rid of the fat. I did so much and I never once attended a therapy session that was registered in my name. I have become strong and independent, you were my first real friend. It was hard but I went from the worst to the best, I'm head-cheerleader, I have the most money ever and the best friends." I stopped and saw that Joy had moved and was now holding my hands.

I realised I had been crying and felt the tears finally cease to fall when I also heard Joy whisper something to me. "Anna, I will never leave you. I don't know why you thought I would. I love the fact you are so strong, I can't believe you never went to therapy, I didn't think you used to be fat. I thought you were just a stuck up bitch when you first came here, but you pushed through and now you're the nicest head-cheerleader ever. I will always be here for you." She stopped talking and jumped onto the bed, we both jumped under the covers and hugged each other.

We occassionaly laughed at something one of us said but we mostly just talked and hugged each other before she asked something that I choked on "Do you like Leo?" what I said next was even crazier "I actually think I...might" I frowned when I realised I was right, maybe I did like Leo. "He is cute, smart and funny. Just what I wanted, but how do we work? Last time I told one of my boyfriends he ran away and never looked at me, that was why I planned all that..." I was confessing the reason Charlie and I kissed, whoops!

She shrugged and I smiled, we went back to hugging before we both fell asleep right there.