The Hidden (BXB)

Chapter 1: The Beginning

-Dox's POV-

Walking down these halls years ago in my sophomore year; I had dreams.

Dreams that I aspired to achieve someday, someway or the other. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I knew life played dirty and I would be left in the dust if I don't play right back. For success, I thought I had to give it my all. 

My dreams consisted of becoming a guitarist or a pianist. My ambitions stretched far. I knew I could sing, I knew I could play really well too. If only I had the guts to perform in front of people. My anxiety was what was holding me back. It dragged me through the rocky ground and I just didn't fight back, I let it drag me down its torturous path, never tending to the wounds it left.

My best friend was dead.

He died. Right in front of my eyes. Never in my life would I be able to get rid of that horrific image of him shouting, flailing and gasping for air as he drowned in the beautiful ocean. It was a blood pool that hid behind its glorious blue/green beauty, cowering and guilty of the lives that it has taken. He was one of them.

He was my love.

Sure, you could argue what 14 year old felt love. Keep aside the fact that I loved him more than a friend, he was simply just there. He was there for me when my old dog passed away, there for me when my 10 year old self discovered I liked boys, there for me when my dad left us, saying he didn't want to live with a "faggot" under his roof. 

He was there.

So yes, I did love him, even as my best friend, he was my world.

And now he was gone.

And I was empty.

Nevertheless, I knew for a fact that Jace would not have wanted me to wallow in sadness. I tried to smile for him. I failed the most part, but I tried and I think that's what counted. I imagined how he would react if I was this sad in front of him, and that would instantly bring a smile on my face because I knew he would have jumped on me and given me a tight hug since he knew that it always brought a smile on my face. And the reminiscence of those moments still did the job. He wasn't even here but he still managed.

I walked in through the doors of my high school with my head held high. I never wavered. Jace should have been there with me but he wasn't and I had to deal with that.

Alone.

Kids had looked at me with pity. I didn't want that. They were sympathizing and not empathizing. Which was a problem for me. They didn't know what it felt like to lose a part of yourself. How it feels to get it snatched away from your quaking hands without relent.

Of course they knew that I wasn't coping well but I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing I was ready to show it, because I wasn't.

My life dragged on for another year. 

I made a friend. Novah. He was a nice guy. He had just moved here with his family. He said his family was big but that he loved his little sister the most. Naturally, myself being the child lover that I am insisted that I get to meet her and Novah had just simply nodded and said. "Okay, soon." 

Novah felt like the only person I could trust because he didn't become friends with me because of the situation that I was in. He befriended me because he thought I was nice and not out of sympathy. He liked me for me and and not my problems. 

After he got to know though, he only grew closer to me. I was slowly but surely recovering from my state of not enjoying life and living just because. But I never forgot Jace. I just couldn't. If not the picture of him drowning, the memories, those I will hold onto forever. 

My routine everyday consisted of waking up, refreshing myself, eating a fruit, leaving for school and coming back home close to 7 in the night because I spend the whole afternoon playing the two instruments that gives me a fragment of peace in my monotonous life. My mother is mostly always at the hospital, working shifts so tedious her eyes always sported dark circles. She had to singlehandedly provide for the both of us.

Whenever she is home, though. I shower her in my attention. She needs to know that I'm here, that we are here for the both of us along with my brother. Sure, Jace took half my soul with him, but my mother and brother were rooting for me too and I had to make them all proud so I had to fight.

And fight, I did.

My monotonous routine was cut short when I came across Novah's cousin. He was the perfect definition of tall, dark and handsome. He gave me a charming smirk when I first saw him. His doe shaped light brown eyes reminded me of Jace's own pair. But the similarities ended there.

"Aren't you a cute little thing." He had said. I saw Novah roll his eyes from my peripheral line of sight while I gritted my teeth.

I hated him instantly. I mostly hated the fact that his eyes reminded me of someone that's not here anymore. 

I knew it was probably rude but I had turned the other way around and walked away, not uttering a word, not giving him the satisfaction.

Novah had followed me that day, all the way home. He spent the night with me and I told him all about Jace and his love, his antics, his expressions, his everything.

Novah listened intently and later on, he had fallen asleep... But I couldn't shake the feeling of someone else in the room.

I had gone to the kitchen to get myself some warm milk and after downing that I finally felt my eyes giving into my much needed sleep. I tugged on the covers of my bed and closed my eyes for the night...

Before they were fully shut, I saw a faint outline of red eyes and something silvery, that glinted, but I was too tired and my mind shut involuntary.

What my brain didn't comprehend was that, that was the beginning. 

My name is Dox Raynott and this is my story.