boys like boys ✔ luwoo

|26|

|| Kim Jungwoo ||

"So do you ever curl it." I sat and watched Lucas run his fingers through Dayan's hair. She looked at him as if he was the love of her life when really she was just amused by how interested he was in her hair. "I try and curl mine but you know... it's so short."

Dayan looked at me with a side glance then back to Lucas. "Yeah, I curled it all the time. I'm actually really good with hair. I bet you I can curl yours." She winked.

The smile on my boyfriends fave lit up. He looked at me for assurance and I just shrugged. "Yeah! Can we do it now."

"No. Dinners ready." Shiwoo appeared out of nowhere with a large plate with different option to choose from to add to our soup and of course the stuffed chicken. We wasted no time crowding the table. My mother didn't come out of her room, so Siwoo made her a plate before sitting down. "Can we talk about something other than hair for the time being?"

I looked at Lucas who was looking at Dayan still. He obviously admired her as if she was his queen which is quite odd because he never really admired any girl. "Yeah," I say abruptly while hitting my knee against his.

Lucas jumped in his seat before turning all the attention to my da- Siwoo. "The food smells amazing! My mom used to cook like this all the time but then my dad started picking up the slack. And speaking of parents, mine still haven't talked to me."

I gulped when Siwoo seemed to be intrigued by this. Like usual, he was going to put his two cents into everything. I know why Dayan picked up a therapeutic lifestyle. Siwoo's all about giving advice and listening to no one.

"Sounds to me like bad parenting." I almost choked on my pork slice. Dayan's jaw dropped but all Lucas did was nod. "Parents shouldn't block out their kids troubling tendencies but talk through them."

"I agree," Lucas sighed. "I mean, I apologized a million times but they seem to see me as an invisible shadow. It's almost like I mean nothing. Tell me what I can do!"

"Grande gestures," he replied while glancing over at me. "As a parent I love receiving big things that came from the heart. Like when mothers give birth. It's like, babies know them from the inside out. So Dayan and Jungwoo were like big gestures... from their mothers' hearts."

Lucas looked at me with a small smile then went back to his food.

"Now let's talk about this video." Now Lucas was the one kneeing me on the side. "Make Jungwoo hard? Is that some term for like angry? You know, I lived in America in the late eighties to early nineties. California was a dream back then. I met a lot of African Americans who say stuff like "I'm hard" you know?" We stared at him like he was out of his mind and I'm pretty sure he was.

"Shiwoo..." Dayan tried to warn him but he didn't give her the time of day. He was too busy smiling at me and Lucas. Waiting for an answer neither of us wanted to give.

"So how angry did you get, Jungwoo. I mean, you pushed him pretty roughly." My jaw clenched as he effortlessly talked about this conversation like it bothered no one. "Sounds to me it was a little more. Was it a little more?"

I kicked the chair back from under me causing everyone to jump out their pants. Siwoo took a sip of his tea with a smirk on his face and right then I knew nothing from this man could ever be genuine. He was the same monster that left me when I was a boy. Why he came back? I could care less. As long as he continued to take care of my mother and this girl he calls his daughter.

"Lucas and I need to talk alone." I dragged the poor boy out of his seat and all the way to my room. He was a bit taken back and still chewing on his food. "Siwoo isn't going to get better. I'm not going to explain what I'm talking about but I know he's doing it again."

I dumped my backpack out on my bed then went to open my drawers. Lucas was stumbling over his words but I know what he was asking. "Where are you going? What are you doing?"

"I should have told you this earlier, Lucas. But I can't stay here. With Taeyong and Siwoo, I'd rather kill myself than live another year under their ego."

"I'm not letting you leave me! Jungwoo! Did you plan this shit?"

I scoffed then chuckled since this started sounding completely insane to me but I only had tonight. "No and yes. It was brought to me by Injoon. The kid got his heart fucking stomped on by Yaebin so he wanted to hide his face. Sasung does anything Injoon does so they'll be leaving together."

"You're not going Jungwoo, are you? I just got you, Jungwoo!"

I continued to stuff my bag with whatever I needed for the journey. "I can't subdue this! The whole spiel Sasung has about friendship and love. It wasn't about friendship and fucking love, Lucas. It was his goodbye. He was telling us good fucking bye. And although I couldn't connect with them on a personal level, in the end, we're all running away from something."

"You're running away from me?" Lucas clenched his chest and fell to his knees. "Jungwoo, I just got you."

"And now I have to... Siwoo isn't that guy sitting at that table. He's a monster who used to do all types of weird shit when I was a kid. He would smell my clothes, do spiritual things on my friends with their back turned. He told me he did these things to understand people. But I guess shoving your hand down your sons pants in front of his close friends was also "understanding people" right?"

Lucas covered is mouth in sock which made me nod slowly. He's the only person who knows this about me and hopefully it stayed that way. "Jungwoo, I'm-"

"It's not your fault. It's mine, for giving him a second chance. Those slick questions isn't him caring. He doesn't want us together. He didn't snatch Dayan from my father because he missed her, only because he lost control of her. It's control and I can't let him control me again."

Lucas gasped when I zipped my hoodie up and reached for my door knob. I turned around to face him and sighed. He didn't move when I rushed over to him and grabbed a handful of his hair. Instead, he gasped and let our lips collide like trucks. I was holding onto his touch as if it were oxygen and god I didn't want to let that go.

But I did. I pulled away from him slowly until we were miles away from each other. "Go home. Love your family. And don't forget me."