We're Broken People

the heart always remembers

Day 1
She was forgetting.
Even now she could feel it, the slow but steady flow of her memories, slowly slipping away.
Like water droplets that hung precariously on the edge of an icicle, waiting to fall any moment, down, down ,down into the snow.

Never to be found again.

No, she didn't want to forget, she couldn't forget!

But it was inevitable.

There would come a day where she would no longer recognize her mother, or her father, or her friends, or him.
Why her?
She couldn't imagine a day where she would no longer recognize their voices, or remember how they looked like.
She couldn't imagine the day where they would all become strangers.
She couldn't imagine how she would live without the memory of his touch, live without the memory of those bright, bright eyes that never seemed to stay the same shade of blue.
Live without the memory of her memories.
She wanted to remember, she would remember.
"I won't forget, I swear I won't forget."
Her hands trembled as she clasped them together, to her heart,
"I will remember."

Day 35
She had started to forget her name sometimes.
And sometimes, when they came to visit her, she knew who they were, she knew they were her family, her friends, the people she loved - but something was off.

And then she'd wanted to call out to them, say hello, and it was on the tip of her tongue but - no. No,no,no,no.

She couldn't remember their names.

It was as if the knowledge was there, but somehow, she'd forgotten it along the way, and when she stretched out her fingers, she found that she was unable to reach it.

It was a terrifying feeling.

They'd tell her their names every time they came to visit, and she'd etch it deep into her mind, as best as she could , but come the next time - the marks had faded.

And she struggled to remember.

She even forgot their faces sometimes, and sometimes when they came to visit her, it was as if they were strangers, outsiders she was meeting for the first time, outsiders whose voices were strange and foreign.

It scared her.

And it hurt him too, she could see it on his face, when she had forgotten his name, or when she asked who he was.

She had seen how his face had fell and how the light in his eyes dimmed just a little, every time she asked "Who are you?"

She willed herself to remember, willed her brain to remember, remember, remember.

But all that came up was the emptiness.

Day 50
Today was one of those rare days of clarity she had, one of those days that she remembered so much it hurt.

She remembered their names, every single letter and syllable that rang on her tongue.

She remembered their voices, the slight lilt in their accents, the gentle ring of their voices.

She remembered their faces, every single shifting shade, every dip and curve of their cheekbones.

And most important of all, the memories.

The people she loved.
The moments she shared with them.
She wished she didn't have to forget.

She still remembered her mother's gentle hands smoothing back her hair, the way she always laughed, the meals she would cook. How she would tell her bedtime stories when she little, how she would wave at her from the doorstep as she set off for school.

She didn't want to forget.

So she wrote it all down, the little things she remembered of her mother, the precious moments they had shared.

Into a letter.

Because one day, she knew she would completely forget, and she wanted them to know, she had never completely forgotten them, she would always treasure them.

She wanted them to know she had loved them, she still loved them, and would always love them.

Her father's strong hands lifting her onto his shoulders, his deep, echoey laugh, and eyes that seemed to always twinkle. The way he walked, the way he always said goodbye to her when she left the house.

She printed it with pen onto the paper.

Her friends, the ones who had always stayed by her, stood up for her. The ones who had lifted her up when she was on her knees, the ones who had laughed and smiled with her, the ones she knew she could trust.

She wrote about how thankful she was for them, how happy she was to have had friends like them. Everything she had always wanted to say.

And finally, him. He, who loved her for her imperfections, who saw her for who she was, who loved her at her worst and best. Her one true love. She loved the way his eyes brightened when he talked about something he loved, she loved the way he looked back at her and smiled when they went for walks, she loved the way he blushed when she took his hand. She loved that she loved him. And she knew he loved her.

She wished they could have more time. She wished they could have spent the rest of their lives together. She wished she could tell him how much she loved him, as much as she could, because even a million times were not enough.

She put her feelings into words, so when she was gone, he would know, she had loved him, as much as he had loved her.

They would find them when she was gone.

And she hoped they would know how much they had meant to her.

Day 108

"Hey."

She turned and she saw that the boy that came in was tall, with dark hair and bright eyes.

Bright eyes with a tinge of sadness.

Why?

He seemed strangely familiar, and it gave her a sense of deja vu, but she didn't know why.

He sat down on the edge of her bed, and suddenly, before she knew it, he was hugging her.

For a moment, she tensed up, and she moved to pull away, but something, something, made her stay.

For some reason, his arms felt warm and safe, like she belonged there.

Like they'd done this before.

So she let herself relax.

"I - I got your letter."

His words were shaky and fragile, broken.

She looked up at him curiously, and she was shocked to see his eyes glaze over with tears.

She reached out her hand and caught the first one.

"Why?"

He looked at her again, and this time his eyes filled with something else, something that made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Because I love you."

Love.

"Love...I remember love..."

Was this what being loved felt like?

"I think...I love you too."

The brain may forget, but the heart will always remember.

Author's Note
Congratulations, if you've managed to read until here. Whewwww, this was hella long(it was over a thousand words) so I hope y'all actually managed to read it welp. I actually started on this quite a while ago, but only continued it today cos well, I knew it was gonna be long so I was lazy lmao. Hope y'all enjoyed this!