If I Stay » Parker

peter's letter

dear addie,

it has been a year since you left.

not a day goes by where i don't think of you.

i miss you so much. i don't know how not to. i gave you my heart when you left. and now, you've taken up a permanent residence where my heart used to be. i've missed you for so long in so many different ways that now it's become a part of me. people keep telling me to move on, to let you go, but can you just simply will a heart to stop beating? to stop missing you would be like taking away a part of myself. i'm afraid i'll miss you forever.

i see you everywhere. every musical note i hear has your voice laced to it. every bright color of blue reminds me of nights spent with you in my arms. the sun reminds me of your face, bright and promising. and the moon remind me of you too, because every night you come back. in my memories, haunting me no matter how hard i try to forget.

and addie, every fight is for you. every life, every soul to protect, its all for you. i'm so sorry i couldn't save you before it was too late.

i don't know what's more tragic; that i keep looking for you where ever i go, or the fact that you're never there. even your laugh still wanders through my mind, too-toeing whispers for my heart to find.

i can't see myself giving my heart to another person. i don't think i will love again.

i'm sitting here now, writing this i stare at your headstone. i've realized that cemeteries aren't for the dead, theyre for the living.

i keep trying to forget you. but i keep waiting for you to come back. forgetting you would be doing an injustice to every beautiful thing you were, addie.

please don't forget about me.

maybe i'll see you again one day.

i still love you. i never stopped.

rest easy.