Estella

Chapter 7

I stare at myself in the mirror.

Before I know it, everyone will be able to tell that I am pregnant.

Everyone will stare.

Everyone will judge me.

Everyone will assume things when none of them know anything close to the truth.

Every time I walk down the halls all anyone will know is that I am that girl that got pregnant in high school.

No one will see what really happened.

I'm going to have all these false labels pinned on me, so many assumptions will be made.

But non of them will know the truth, none of them will care about the truth.

All anyone sees is what they want to see.

To them they see this perfect high school relationship.

They think we are happy together.

They think I want to be with him.

They think I actually like him.

They think that he is a good person.

But all they know is what he wants them to know.

I am the only one who actually knows what kind of a person he really is.

Everyone sees him as this perfect person.

They see him as this amazing student who is nice to almost anyone(besides the whole racist thing, but he's usually pretty good at hiding that).

They don't know that he is this abusive monster that will do anything to get what he wants.

But who would bother believing me even if I did speak up?

No one.

I would be called a liar.

I would be accused of just trying to victimize myself to make up for the fact that I got pregnant.

They would feel that he would be incapable of hurting me.

He has too much power over everyone. He has convinced them all that he can do no wrong.

Soon when people see me all that they will be able to see is my stomach.

All anyone will see is the fact that I am pregnant.

I have never really stood out in a crowd.

I have always been short, just a couple inches taller than my mother, and small, I have never been as thin as my mother is through, and I know that I never could be.

I'll never understand how my mom is as small as she is.

Sometimes it frightens me how tiny she is.

She hasn't gotten above eighty pounds since she was pregnant with me.

My dad always seems worried about her, but from what I see she seems fine.

Just thin.

I stop staring at myself and go back to my room to get shoes on.

After I decide that I am ready, I go downstairs to meet my dad.

I haven't really spent much time with my dad lately, so we decided that we should spend a day together.

When I was younger I used to spend as much time as I could with my dad.

But after all of this started in high school, I gave up spending as much time with anyone in my family.