★,｡･:*jaedo one shots ･:*:･ﾟ★

k.dy x j.jh ; photoshooting (fluff)

(this is going to be so long oh god, kill me)

doyoung

This was the third try to do this dance practice, but as expected, I failed again. Taeyong sighed and fell down on the floor. "Doyoung what is going on with you?", he mumbled, barely understandable, because his head were buried in his hands. He sat up and turned around, to give me a reproachful look. "I-i'm very sorry, I will concentrate now", I stuttered. Taeyong gave me a last look and stood up. This time it really worked. I knew it was important for our comeback that should be released soon. But there was something else, more like someone, who stole my attention all the time without knowing it.

I fell down on the floor, out of breath. Taeyong clapped his hands. "Well done kids", he said. He walked over to Jaehyun and gave him a handshake and I puckered my face. I rolled my eyes and stood up. "Let's go back to the dorm", I said, trying to not sound that annoyed. I left the practice room and could feel Jaehyuns and Taeyongs confused looks in my back, but I only cared for one. I hated it, how that one part in my chest always hurt, when I saw them together, but I couldn't stop it. I knew they were only best friends, but it already bothered me, when someone was closer to him than me.

-♡

A noise of creaking boards woke me up, but I wasn't awake enough to open my eyes already. I heard footsteps coming closer. "Doyoung?", someone whispered and peeked my cheek. I made an annoyed sound and pulled my blanket above me. "Doyoung come on", he now said louder and I could recognize Taeyong's voice. "It's like midnight, why do you wake me up that early?", I mumbled through the textile. I could hear him sighing and just a second later I could feel how bleakness wreathed around me. Finally I opened my eyes and sat up. "Oh my god, it's cold", I said, trying to get my blanket back. But Taeyong held it far enough away from me, that I should've stood up to get it back. I rub my eyes, trying to make my eyes get used to the still dark room. I looked at the clock. 6:09. I groaned. "Did you forget that the photoshooting is today?", he said and took a step back, to make sure that I really had to stand up. But I did it anyway, giving myself a facepalm. "Oh my god Taeyong, yes I did", I said and ran to my closet. I hurried up, so it only took about ten minutes to get ready and I went to the car, that already stood in front of the dorm readily, to bring us to the filming place. I was still the last one.

The ride went quietly. Everyone was still too tired, including me, but I was still able to watch Taeyong, whose head laid on Jaehyun's shoulder. I knew I should stop, but I couldn't. Even though I wanted. But I had let my feelings grow too much already, it was too late now.

We arrived at the place for filming the MV and doing the photoshoot. The sun had slowly raised and my tired state had faded a little bit.

The first one to shoot was Mark. While he did his shooting, we others were busy getting ready by the staff for our shootings. I was finish, but it wasn't my turn already. Taeyong, Johnny and Jaehyun were first. I just sat down somewhere near, but also where I didn't disturb anyone. It was boring to watch Taeyong doing a shooting, but I didn't know what to do otherwise. My attention first grew, when I heard Jaehyun's name to be called, what signalisized, that it was his turn. I unobtrusively watched him, standing in front of the camera and doing what the staff told him to do. I wanted to stop staring at him, but it wasn't possible. I felt like he got hotter with every second. My hands started sweating. I hated how he could control my feelings without even wanting it. The others finished too meanwhile and waited for their turn, watching the one whose turn was. Suddenly, Jaehyun's eyes caught me staring at him. I didn't know if I only imagined it, because I seemed to be the only one, who saw it, but a little smirk decorated his face and he winked and he looked so good, that my breathing suddenly got heavier. I stood up and walked back into the room, where the staff did our make-up just a few minutes ago, but it was empty now. I fell down on the chair and wiped my hands off my jeans. Fuck, what did he do to me? I started to get my breathing under control again and took a deep breath. Suddenly I heard a voice, calling Johnny's name. He was the last one, before it was my turn. But I wasn't able to think about that very long because suddenly, without me realizing it, he sat next to me, and looked into my eyes through the big mirror in front of us, still having this annoying smirk on his face. Not that he didn't look good, I mean, he looked perfect in every way, but he made me nervous. I couldn't handle my feelings, when he looked at me like that. Even less than usual and I actually could control my feelings for him. He suddenly turned his head to me and came closer. I still watched everything through the mirror. I felt his breathing on my neck and gasped for air. "Staring at me is your hobby, isn't it?", he breathed and looked at me through the mirror again, at which I still stared because I didn't dare to say anything, I didn't even want to move. Instead of making the distance between us bigger again, he just came closer and I felt his lips on my neck. I let out a sharp gasp and my head flew back. My nails sank into the sides of the chair. I wasn't even able to think about the why, everything I could think about, was that he did it. He slowly let his warm hands slip under my shirt and stroked over my chest, giving me goosebumps with every touch. I had already started to enjoy what he did, but then I heard my name. Jaehyun slowly let go from me and I saw his smile in the mirror. "Guess you have to go", he whispered. Then he stood up and walked back to the others. I quickly followed, before I could start thinking, because it was my turn now. But the whole shooting, I could feel Jaehyun's looks on me.

It's not that he paid much attention to me before, but I felt like he completely forgot that I existed. His attention got caught by Taeyong even more than usual. It didn't even make me angry, that he ignored me. I mean, he did that even before that happened. It just made me angry, that he didn't realize, that he hurt me with these actions. Giving me hope and letting me fall then hurt. I had always known that it was silly to allow my feelings for Jaehyun, but in the beginning, it was because I was scared that it would destroy the small friendship that existed between us. I would've never thought, that it would be a problem, because Jaehyun was able to hurt me then. I started to eat less, because I didn't want to see him while dinner, lunch, breakfast whatever. I had an alarm in the night, so that I could eat at least a little bit. I didn't know if he might be worried about me, I actually didn't care. I didn't even know, if he had realized, that I wasn't eating with them. That I denied every contact with any member. I didn't want them to see me suffer. I felt used by him. Like he only wanted that this happened. He wanted to hurt me, to make me feel bad. Deep inside I knew, that this was actually a silly thought, but I couldn't find another explanation for his dumb behavior. The actual problem was, that I still loved him, even if he was the biggest asshole I knew. It felt like, I could never stop loving him. Never was such a long time.

It was night again and I went into the kitchen, so satisfy my stomach with some bread. I could eat more, but I didn't even want to. I hadn't had appetite even one time, since this happened. I just sat down on the table, when I heard footsteps. I quickly turned around, but it was already too late. His eyes had already caught me in the darkness and he came a little bit closer, to make sure, that his eyes didn't fool him. "Doyoung-", he whispered but I didn't want to hear what he wanted to say. "Hold it in", I said, sounding more annoyed than it was supposed to be, but I liked it. "Don't force me to hear your annoying voice", I added. His voice was actually the most beautful voice I knew, but he didn't have to know. I stood up, after I put the last piece of bread into my mouth and went back into the kitchen. He followed me, as expected. "What are you doing here?", he asked confused. "Why aren't you eating with us?" I could see how he frowned, despite the rare amount of light, that filled the room. I walked towards him, stopping in front of him. "Why do you care?", I whispered, scornfullness filling my voice. He didn't say anything, he just stared back with those beautiful eyes. "I understand", I breathed and wanted to turn around, but he was faster. "Okay, be angry. It's okay, you have the reasons for that. But please eat with us, it's not good for your health." I opened my mouth, but closed it again. I couldn't believe what he just said. "So, you're telling me that you know why I am angry, sad-...", I stopped and shook my head, tears filling my eyes, "you have no clue how much that hurt." Now, I really turned around, about to run back into my room, because he wasn't supposed to see, that he made me cry. But right after I turned around, he took my wrist, pulled me closer to him and connected our lips. My eyes shot open and I wanted to push him away, but I knew, I would regret it. So I slowly closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him. He didn't deserve this, after what he did to me, but I had waited too long for this, to give to him, what he actually deserved. He pulled me closer with his hands on my waist and moved his lips against mine. I couldn't remember a feeling, that was better than this. I slowly let go from him and looked into his eyes. He slightly smiled. "I'm sorry."