★,｡･:*jaedo one shots ･:*:･ﾟ★

k.dy x j.jh ; together (fluff/tw)

(a/n: i know some people feel uncomfortable with suicide stories, so i would just recommend to don't read it, if you feel uncomfortable because I DO like it and write it anyway)

doyoung

I was already laying in my bed, eyes half closed. The sound of the frontdoor made me feel awake again. I sat up. He was back. Slowly, the feeling of fear and nescience, about what will happen next, filled every vein of my now trembling body. I heard him walking upstairs and screaming my name loudly. I winced. Too scared what would happen, if I didn't listen to him, I stood up from my bed and carefully walked out of my room. He stood not far away from me, coming closer as soon as he saw me. He weaved and I smelled the disgusting scent of alcohol. He looked down at me. I didn't dare to look at him, so I just watched my hands doing nothing. But he suddenly grabbed my chin and made me look up at him. "You know I was in your school today and talked with your lovely teacher." He grinned and I made a face in disgust. What a gross human. "But she didn't told me good things about you. She said, your grades got worse", he mumbled. He let go of me and pushed me away from him, making me tumble back a few steps. A single tear left my eye and ran down my face. "Stop crying. You're not a girl!", he shouted at me. "I'm sorry dad", I whispered with a trembling voice. Why did I apologize? "Son of a bitch", he muttered. I looked up. The fear left my body, replaced by fury. "She wasn't a bitch. She was a way better person than you are", I groaned. My voice wasn't trembling anymore. Instead, it got louder with every word. He turned around to me and looked into my eyes. "What did you say?" He came closer to me. The next thing I felt was pain that circulated in my cheek. Another pain in my stomach, that made me fall on the ground. He leaned over me, forcing me to smell his disgusting scent. "You should've died. Not she", he whispered, before he stood up and left. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees. Was he serious? Did he really want me to die? The tears, that had kept streaming down my face suddenly stopped. I stood up and walked down, putting on a jacket and shoes, before I carefully left the house. I had kept asking me this question. Did he want me to die? Now I had the answer. Yes, he did. Why am I giving exactly that to him, what he wanted? Because it was something, I wanted too.

My foots carried me through the quiet, empty and dark streets of seoul in the late evening, until I reached rails. When I was young, I often played here with my friends. My mom always said, it had been forbidden, because it was dangerous, but I did it anyway. She never was angry. A sad smile sneaked on my face, when I first put one and then my second foot on the dadly iron. I sat down and laid my head on my knees. Every part of my body trembled, but it wasn't because of the icy cold. I suddenly heard a noise and turned my head around. I saw the shape of a frame. Only a shadow, that came closer to me. "What are you doing here?", I heard his clear, deep voice. "Why do you care?", I whispered, loud enough to let the boy hear it, and looked away. He came towards me, until he stood right next to me. "It's dangerous on the rails", he said, his voice had something, that made me feel safe. "I think it's clear, that this is exactly what I want", I mumbled and looked up at him. He just smiled and gave me his hand. I looked into his almost black eyes, but I couldn't find anything evil. I carefully took his hand into mine and let him lead me away from the rails, without knowing why. "Your hand is cold. Are you freezing?", he asked and I just nodded, not able to say anything. "Follow me", his smile got warmer and he gently pulled me with him. I followed him, knowing what a bad idea this actually was, but in this moment, I didn't care. A few minutes later, we reached a little house. He opened the door and let me go first. I carefully took one step foward and looked around. "You can sit down", he offered and pointed on a couch, "I'm just gonna make you some hot chocolate." Again, I just nodded, asking myself, why he was so friendly. I sat down on the comfortable couch. A few minutes later he came back, with a cup and a blanket, he handed out to me. "Here. To warm yourself." I thankfully took it, and wrapped it around me, admiring the warmth, that slowly replaced the cold. Nobody said a word, while I drank the cacao he made, but it wasn't an awkward silence. When I finished, I placed the cup on a little table in front of me. "Thank you", I then said. I actually shouldn't be thankful, I should hate him for preventing me from killing myself, but I couldn't. "Don't thank me. I know, that you would've prefered it, if I didn't come." He smiled. "You should go now. I'm sure you have school tomorrow and it's late", he suggested. I nodded and stood up. I looked at him one last time, before I left his house, and walked back home.