What A Secret Looks Like | ✓

10: grayson

I woke up before she did this time, making it impossible for her to sneak out on me again. Not that I think she would, but it's nice to hold her before something today can ruin what happened. The only thing I'm afraid of, is her retreating back into her shell again and I'm hoping she hasn't done that.

I know I need to tell Hayes, I just don't know what to tell him? We've been talking over the phone and in brief interactions for almost two months. We had a one night stand a little more than two and a half months ago? I don't know what this is, or if I'm ready to have this become something.

If there's one thing I know for sure it's that Tessa could end up breaking my heart, intentional or not.

"Can we at least talk about this like adults?" Caroline asks from across the table, eating her dinner, while I study for a test I have in two days. I also have a case for the firm that I need to look at too.

I don't look up from the text book when I respond, "Line, could we have this talk in a little bit? I really need to study for this."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Her voice is calm, but dripping in anger and I quickly prepare myself for the next blowout we're going to have.

I lean back in the chair looking at her, "I don't want to fight."

Line rolls her brown eyes at me, "Whatever Grayson."

I want to laugh because that's just like her, to make a big fucking deal out of the fact that I'm doing something for school, instead of having a conversation with her when lately they all end in yelling.

"No it's not whatever. You want to talk, so let's talk."

"I want to talk about our future." She says, and I know exactly where this conversation is going.

I gesture to the shitload of work almost covering the entire table, save for the spot where Line is eating, "This is our future! What do you think I'm doing?"

"I think you're deflecting." She points out, and my jaw drops.

"Studying for tests and working on my internship is deflecting? Cause I must be mistaken if I thought it was something that was setting our future in motion so I get a good job and can support us."

"You're just always working on it and we never have any time to spend together! Is this how it's always going to be? You at work and I'm home raising our kids?"

And then it all makes sense, "You've been talking to my Ma, haven't you?" I ask, and Caroline picks up her almost full plate and dumps it into the trashcan before taking it to the sink.

"I don't see what's so bad about talking to her. She's your mother Gray." Line insists, and this is news to me.

"She's filling your head with ideas when she knows nothing about our relationship!" I stand up from the chair, hearing the sharp squeal of the bottom of the chair on the tile in the kitchen of our apartment.

"Your mother isn't filling my head with ideas that weren't already there in the first place. I want us to get married because I love you! Not because your mother put the idea in my head. I mean Jesus we've been dating for almost three years now, and we've known each other for five." Her voice has raised to a yell, and I'm sure the family living to the right of our apartment is tired of hearing us yell. I'm tired of hearing us yell.

"Line I'm only twenty-three! I've spent so much of my life focused on getting ahead and becoming the best, that I just want to live in the moment right now. We have the rest of our lives to be together, but I don't understand why it has to be now." We're too young to get married, and I just want to be sure. Is that so wrong?