Everything ticked over in his head.. over and over until he felt insane. His life with Molly before their divorce. His life without Molly after it. How unhappy he'd been and the lengths they'd gone to just to come back to each other. Exactly how much she risked in the jungle for him. Her life being the main thing, she had been willing to die for him, she protected him with her life. Never once willing to leave his side. Those weren't the actions of a person who did not love him.
He already felt empty without her and she was only downstairs. He had pushed her to go, for her own happiness but pushed her none the less. He was to blame. His insecurities once again threatening to ruin his life.
He pulled on the fucking prosthetic that was the bane of his life but also his lifeline and made the short distance to the kitchen. Coffee this time, not whisky.
The sound and smell reached a weeping Molly within seconds and she longed to hold him. To tell him how much she loved him. So she'd do just that. There was no leaving here without a fight, not this time.
He felt her before he saw her, this time allowing physical contact between them as she wrapped her arms around him from behind.
"Do you really want me to go?" She sobbed
He turned to face her using his long finger to tilt her chin upwards "Never"
Their lips met, both desperately seeking comfort in the other. Both needing the physical connection to make them whole again.
"I'm sorry" she panted between kisses
"So am I"
He slipped her dressing gown off her shoulders allowing it to pool at her feet, taking in the curves of her body in just her underwear. Words unspoken being exchanged with their eyes.
"Mine" he growled possessively
"Yours" she affirmed pulling at his waistband.
"I love you so much it makes me crazy... please say you forgive me"
"Take me to bed" she whispered and there was no argument from him. All of his earlier anger melted away when she touched him. The physical and emotional connection between them had bent a little but not broken and he was sure it never would. Deep down he knew he would forgive her anything.
Molly enjoyed exploring his body again. Where there once had been hard lines and muscle was now a little softer. Still perfect she thought as she planted her lips on the faded red scar on his torso. How could one body go through so much?
The ache for him between her legs drove her wild as she kissed her way upwards to his face.
"Mine" she proclaimed as he had done earlier "Most definitely yours" he agreed. His eyes hungrily searching hers. He needed her. Needed her physically and emotionally and she was teasing and driving him wild.
"Molly please"
She gazed at him with a devilish look "All in good time James"
She needed him to know he was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Losing a limb would never alter that.
He flipped her over so he lay on top of her, taking control "I. Need. You" he punctuated every word with a kiss and continued until he reached the sweet spot behind her ear.
The smell of his aftershave and his lips pressed against her skin were enough "Now Charles"
They worshiped each other's bodies in the way they always had. It had always been the way they fixed anything. The way they showed each other the best just how much they loved and how deeply they felt.
He held her so tight after, planting gentle kisses on every inch of her beautiful face. She smiled to herself, thanking her lucky stars they would be okay.
-OG-
"Merry Christmas" she said in a whisper just in case he really was asleep. He turned to face her, sleepy and exhausted from making up and pulled her naked body to his.
"I've been so looking forward to our first Christmas officially back together" she smiled sadly
"I'm sorry I nearly fucked it all up. I got lost for a minute, but my heart always comes back to you"
He cringed at the thought of them together but the alternative was far worse. He knew he couldn't be without her again.
"I'm sorry... for my role in you being there. For encouraging Bones. For being like this"
He gestured towards his leg "this isn't ideal for you is it? You must have had second thoughts about me at some point? At that moment maybe?"
"At that moment I wasn't thinking at all. I'd had one to many and I was lonely and missing you and he's always been a bit fond of me hasn't he? I needed physical contact, someone to just hold me and make it all better. I'm sorry.. so fucking sorry that it ever happened but you have to believe that nothing more happened. You also have to believe that I'm here because I wanna be and no, I've never had second thoughts about you. Especially not since you got yourself a bit of new kit. If anything it's made me love you even more because you so brave Charles. So fucking brave.. I'm a bit in awe of you actually"
Her words felt like they might make his heart explode. Maybe he was still enough.
She held him as he broke down. Months of pretending and avoiding his feelings about his amputation finally coming to a head. It had finally sunk in that this was permanent, that this was the new him. Their new way of life because it affected her too but she was still here and they were still fighting. Finally he had faith that they always would fight forthcoming battles together.
-OG-
Today was a day that Molly never thought she would be ready for but as she sat waiting, it more than felt right. Her time with the army was done.
They had spent the time since Christmas healing and growing back together and finally this chapter of their lives would be complete for both of them.
"So this really is goodbye then Dawes?"
He was the last person she wanted to see but as her CO it was inevitable.
"Yes Sir. I'm ready for a fresh start"
Bones swallowed hard "You do realise you're making a mistake don't you? You're throwing away a decorated career to be a carer"
She smiled to herself because she knew different. She knew better.
"That couldn't be any further from the truth.. but you are entitled to your opinion. I want a life now. A settled life with kids and Charles and I want to wake up to his face every single day"
He was surprised how her words still stung him. Molly James really had got under his skin.
"I'll miss you Molly"
He was tempted to reach out and touch her. All his recovery had been spent thinking of her and what they had shared in Bangladesh. It had given him hope that maybe, just maybe she did feel that way too. Once again Charles James stood in the way. He always had.
"I'll miss you too. You're a fucking top bloke Scott. I really hope you find what you're looking for"
With a final salute he watched her go and she looked happy.
"I hope so too Dawes"
