-- Strong Girl Bong Soon 2 --

Ch. 29: Infertility

* HEI RAN's POV *

It wasn't easy. Not at first. Watching how Min Hyuk and Bong Soon had a beautiful family and we were still trying to have a baby... it became a little bit frustrating. I used to blame destiny, fate or however you want to call it.

After trying it all, we went to the doctor. He told us that I was infertile. It made me feel even worse. It was my fault, my fault that we couldn't get what we want. My emotions... well, they were down to the floor.

I felt horrible. Guk Do kept on telling me that it wasn't my fault. That we had to try to go to a fertility clinic and that maybe we could find a solution. He was there for me, he supported me. He gave me all his love but I kept on blaming me, not realizing that I was hurting him by doing so.

Later on we went to this clinic where they told us the same... "impossible". Argh, that word was horrible. It made me hate quotes like "Nothing is impossible unless you want it" - fuck off, tumblr.

* * *

After a while we decided to adopt. We searched all over the country, we looked for our ideal kid. Meaning ideal... well, we wanted mainly a girl. A girl who was little, so that we could bring her up on our own. During this search I was envious.

Envious of mothers who could conceive, I wanted to kill people who went to have abortions. It was unfair that they didn't want their babies... if only I could get pregnant. I think you see my point. To me it was unfair that God gave kids to whom wouldn't want them.

But I kept on hoping to find our child. And so did we.

We found a little girl named Sun. I loved her name, because it meant sun. When you looked right into her eyes you could feel it... that name was made for her.

- She is our daughter- I told Guk Do as soon as we met her. 

He nodded in approval.

The paperwork... well, it was tiring. But in the end we got ourselves the best outcome ever.

Our own, tiny little girl.

I think our story, even though it might seem short, leaves one big and important lesson. One should fight for what he wants. In spite of anyone's opinion, one should fight. 

Because if we lose, we at least fought.

We didn't stand there with our arms crossed. No. We fought, hard. And us... we won, after all. We seemed to be defeated but we won. But well... if we lost, then, as I said, we at least had fought. So thats my phrase to everyone... its, what I believe, are my last words.

Fight for your dreams - you won't always win, but fight anyways. Go against fate and destiny. Write your own story. Achieve your goals. Because if I can...

Then you can.