Mute [A One Direction Fanfic] -Amy's Adventures Book 2-

Chapter 17

~Harry's POV~

I spend the next two weeks either in my room or in Jason's office, constantly thinking about Louis and getting better, for him. I want to make Louis happy, and I want to be happy again. Jason is enthusiastic about how I want to get better, and slowly a smile has been finding its way onto my face, one little bit at a time. The only thing we haven't made progress on is my muteness. My voice is still locked inside me somewhere, so hidden that I can't find it. I couldn't say a word if I tried, and believe me I've tried. In my week here I've laughed, screamed, cried, gasped, and hummed, but when it comes to actually producing words nothing comes out. Not even a whisper. It's like there's some spell on me keeping me from uttering a word. Jason says that even though I know I'm safe, some little part of my mind thinks that I'm not, and that I need to overcome that little part to talk again. Sometimes my thoughts drift away from Louis to Trent. He's still out there somewhere, and maybe that's what's holding me back.

Today I haven't been able to sit still at all, because today Louis, Liam, Niall, and Zayn are coming to see me. I'm not allowed to leave, but Jason says that I've been doing so well that they can come. Amy can't come, though, because there's an age restriction. Some of the people here are actually insane, or so I've heard, and it's too risky for Amy to come. Maybe Trent should be here instead of me, because he acts a lot like some of the people I've seen.

"Harry, I know you're excited, but you need to pay attention." Jason says, smiling. He's as happy as I am, although I'm not sure why, but he's been attempting to hide it since I came in. He's not doing a very good job, though. Even though I just want to see my friends, I make an effort to pay attention, because right now we're trying to test what my messed up brain will let me do. I can't talk, that much is obvious, but can I sign, or write? I honestly never thought to try writing down what I wanted to say, so that's what we're doing today.

Jason nods, silently telling me to start. I look at the notepad in my hands and think about what I want to write. I put the pencil on the paper, but then I just stop. I want to write, but my hand isn't listening to my brain, and it won't move. That little part that's scared takes control whenever I want to communicate, making me wonder if the little part is actually as little as Jason makes it seem. After a minute of nothing I sigh, pushing the pad off of my lap and crossing my arms, disappointed in myself. I want to be able to talk and sing again, but I can't even write my own name on a sheet of paper!

"Harry, it's okay." Jason says softly. I shake my head, tears in my eyes. Even though I'm getting better, sometimes when I fail I lapse back into a depressed state of mind and everything just looks bad. Yes, those were Jason's words, not mine. But I just start feeling like it's not worth it or I'm too weak or stupid to even do something that simple, like now. Because honestly, why do they even keep trying?! How can so many people look up to me when I can't force myself to say a word?!

~Louis' POV~

We sit in the reception area for a long time, waiting for Harry's therapist to come out and bring us back. When he finally does come, he's wearing a sad look on his face, and instead of getting us to follow him he comes to us, standing in front of us. "I'm going to take you back there, but just be warned. Harry has been doing very well, but sometimes he'll lapse back into depression briefly when he feels like he failed something. He may look bad when we go back there but that isn't how he acts most of the time." At that the doctor stands, leading us back behind the desk and down a hallway. "By the way, I'm Jason." He adds, opening a door to reveal a small office. The office is bright, with a bookshelf in one corner full of random knickknacks and books. There's a desk with an office chair on one side and a chair you'd find in a living area on the other, and the second chair is occupied by Harry, who is crying silently. He doesn't seem to notice when we walk into the room, Liam, Niall, and Zayn quickly sitting down on the couch behind Harry and watching, unsure. I stand next to them, my back against the wall, and Jason sits down in his chair, sighing.