Mute [A One Direction Fanfic] -Amy's Adventures Book 2-

Chapter 13

~Louis' POV~

I'm stuck at the hospital for the next two weeks, slowly getting back my strength and returning to the way I was before. For the first few days I couldn't even keep any food down, which was puzzling until a doctor finally explained what was going on to me. Apparently your stomach gets weaker if you don't eat? Whatever was going on, it's over now and I can eat pretty much normally now. Liam told me yesterday that I'm going home tomorrow, so I'll finally get to see the outside world again. Last time I got to really be outside was before I got kidnapped, and I've never appreciated nature as much as I do now.

"Louis?" I hear Niall ask as he walks into my room.

"What is it?" I ask, wondering what on earth my friend is doing here after hours. Visiting hours were over three hours ago, so how did he even get in?

"Um... I'm not supposed to be telling you this..." Niall says, shifting uncomfortably.

"Niall, spit it out." I say, irritated.

"God, Liam is going to kill me." Niall mutters to himself, frowning. "Harry isn't doing too well." He says quickly, probably trying to explain before he changes his mind. "He's been pushing the rest of us away and spending most of his time in his room. He only comes out when Liam tells him that it's time to come here, and it's been going on since you first got into the hospital. Liam didn't want you to worry about it while you were healing but I think you deserve to know." I nod, grateful that Niall told me but worried about Harry.

"I am worried, but why would Liam want to keep that from me?" I ask, confused. Niall shrugs, not having an answer.

"Because Harry would... have to show you." Liam says, and I turn my head to see him standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Crap." Niall cusses quietly, earning a glare from Liam.

"There's one thing that I think you... should know, Louis, but Harry is the only one who can... show you that, and he won't leave his... room, even to come here. I caught him doing... something he shouldn't, and now he won't even look... me in the eye. This is much more serious than you... think, and I figured you didn't need the stress... while you were here, added on to everything... else that's going on." Liam explains, sort of.

"What do you mean? What's going on with Harry?" I ask, too nervous to be confused.

"He's been hurting himself." Liam admits, sighing. "I think he might have... gotten depressed over everything that happened, he could... have been for a while but when he saw you at Trent's... house it probably got worse. He blames... himself for what happened to you, and he thinks he's disgusting because of what happened to him. He pretty much... feels worthless, and I think there's a risk that he could try to kill... himself." I nod, Liam's words not really fully registering in my brain.

"Just keep him alive tonight, I come back tomorrow morning and I can try to do something." I decide, frowning. "Poor Harry..." Niall and Liam nod, and we all stand/sit in silence, thinking about our friend. A thought pops up in my mind after a few minutes and my eyebrows furrow. "How did you two get in here after hours anyways?" I ask, finally realizing that they aren't supposed to be allowed up here.

"Your doctor was in the... lobby and let me go up, but I'm not sure... about Niall." Liam says, looking at the blond, who grins.

"I snuck up here." Niall says proudly, and Liam sighs.

"How were you planning... on getting out exactly?" He asks, and Niall shrugs.

"I was making it up as I went along." He admits, crossing his arms. "But whatever, I did what I needed to do."

"Niall, let's... go. Louis, get some rest. You'll... need it." Liam orders, grabbing Niall's arm and pulling him out of the room. Instead of sleeping, I sit up in my bed, just thinking about what to say to Harry.

It's not your fault? He wouldn't believe me.

You aren't disgusting? He'd never listen.

Don't blame yourself? Why does Harry have to be so stubborn?

~Harry's POV (trigger warning)~

I sit in my bathroom, thankful that Liam didn't remove the lock on this door. Zayn and Niall have been banging on the door for ages, trying to get me out because apparently Liam thinks I'm going to try something. I guess he's right, but still. Zayn said something a few minutes ago about Louis coming home, but I wasn't really paying attention. Besides, I doubt Louis would even want to look at me after what I caused. I wonder if he'd even care if I was gone?

"Harry, open this door right now!" Zayn tries again, and the door rattles as he bangs on it. Amy tried to find the key but I have it with me, so they have no way in. I look at the counter from my position on the ground, the gleam of a small hand mirror catching my eye. Liam took all of my razors and scissors and things because of something some doctor said, but he didn't take the small mirrors I have scattered around my room. That's what I did last time. Broke a mirror and used one of the shards. Liam found me, though, because I forgot that my bedroom door didn't lock. He took that mirror, but not this one. Should I do it again?

"Harry, please!" Niall pleads, and more banging ensues. I ignore it, looking at my right wrist and the three cuts lining it. I don't honestly know why I did it, I guess the guilt just overwhelmed me. That's happened a lot lately. I've just been overwhelmed by everything and just wanted to die. Would anyone miss me if I was gone?

"Louis will be here soon, don't you want to see him?" Zayn tries, and I shake my head. Of course I want to see him, but he doesn't want to see me. He shouldn't. It's my fault he was gone in the first place, so why should he want to be near me? He'd safer if he stayed away. He'd be safer if I wasn't around. Everyone would be better off without me. So why stick around?

Without another thought I grab the mirror, smashing it against the counter. The glass shatters and sharp pieces fly everywhere. The banging on the door stops for a second, then gets more frantic.

"Harry, please don't do this!" Niall exclaims, his voice cracking. I find a large, sharp piece of glass and pick it up, scratching my finger on it. I examine the cut the glass accidentally made, deciding that it should get the job done. Niall and Zayn's voices mix with the banging and the little voice in my head urging me to do it, that I'm worthless, that no one would care. Before I can change my mind I pull the shard across my wrist, hissing in pain as blood starts to appear.

"Harry, don't do this!" Zayn screams, his voice rising. I hear a slam and three pairs of footsteps, but I ignore everything, my gaze focused on my wrist and the piece of glass in my hand. I draw another line across my wrist, watching a drop of blood fall onto the floor and smiling a bit. No one will have to worry about me anymore. With that thought in my mind, I make a deep cut, deeper than all the others, immediately feeling dizzy. I hear a crash as I lose my balance, falling to the ground. The world spins and I hear one voice stick out from the others.

"HARRY!!!" Louis yells, and everything goes black.