Chapter 6: Last Moments

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Erin and I went into a small bedroom, and were now facing each other cross legged on the bed.

I had changed into some of Blake's old clothes he'd left here; some plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt. I'd washed the blood out of my hair too.

I wanted to be completely focused on spending time with Erin.

She looked at me, a confused look on her face. "Is something wrong? Anything new I mean."

If only you knew.

I smiled a little and took her hands in mine, letting our intertwined fingers rest between our knees.

"No, I just want to spend some time with you. Things have been crazy lately, and I figured we should take advantage of some peace." Already feeling guilty for lying, but the guilt fading away when I remembered again it was necessary to lie.

I couldn't tell her this was the last time we'd talk. The last time she'd be able to touch me, and I touch her. Hold her hand, hear her voice. The last opportunity we'd ever have to laugh together.

Her expression turned calm and I could tell she believed my reasoning. "Okay, so what do you want to talk about then?"

So much.

"Anything. Do you have anything in mind, anything that's been on your mind? Or a memory that's happy? We can talk about that." Not wanting to make her worry.

She just smiled a little. "Remember that time mom and dad watched Frozen with us? And daddy commented on everything that wasn't supposed to make sense, like Olaf singing about Summer?" She said, laughing as we both replayed the memory in our head.

I smiled too, thinking of more memories we both loved. "And, remember when you caught dad putting money under your pillow? He tried to convince you that you were asleep, and he ended up just giving you the dollar?" I recalled, laughing as I pictured him speaking in that funny voice knelt in front of her little bed.

She laughed too, squeezing my fingers and looking back up at me from laughing as she stopped.

"Yeah, I know. I just- I miss daddy so much. And mom, I can't think about her without remembering-" her voice broke at the end and I understood completely.

Pulling her to me, I hugged her tight. Remembering how her hair smelled, how it felt. How tiny her body was, the feel of her arms around me. This could be the last time I ever hugged my baby sister. It probably is.

I hugged her tighter as tears sprung into my eyes, and rolled down my face.

She pulled away slightly, looking at my face. "It's gonna be okay, Kiara. I know I'm safe as long as I'm with you." She said, wiping my tears away.

I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. I'd let her down. It was all my fault, and I couldn't fix it. Couldn't change it. Take her place.

"I-I'm so s-orry Erin," my voice barely audible and breaking as I tried not to cry.

She just smoothed my hair back, and squeezed my shoulder.

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault, no one expected this Kiara. I love you so much, don't ever blame yourself for anything. Nothing could ever happen to me. Your my shield, my personal body gaurd, my guardian angel, basically my mom. I couldn't ask for anything more."

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and I couldn't let her think nothing was wrong either. This little girl means so much to me. She put all her trust in me.

And I let her down.

I stopped crying, and pulled myself together.

"Erin, I have something I need to tell you. And I need you to listen, okay? It's okay if you freak out, or hate me forever, but I-"

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