The Silent One

{One}

Do you know how annoying it is when someone's talking to you and they just won't stop? Well, I don't.
At least, not anymore.

People avoid me now. It's like I have some fatal disease that's extremely contagious. I don't get it. But I'm not really complaining.

I guess that, to be fair, I have to say I've been avoiding people too. But I have a good reason. Let's just say, it's hard to trust people now. With all that's happened, it's not the same. I'm not the same. And I guess I'm okay with that. It's better than being fake, right?

Oh, and, in case you didn't know, I'm mute. Which means, I don't talk. Ever.

It's not like I can't. It's more like, I won't.

Why? I'm not telling. No one knows, and I prefer it that way. Besides, the one person that knew, isn't around anymore. And by that, I mean he's not alive.

Too forward? Too bad. Because as much as I loathe it... it's true.

I guess the truth really does hurt.

xxx

But anyways, it's morning here. The only reason I even bother to get up is because my stomach's cramping. It's too bright outside, so I don't open the blinds. And I don't bother with the lights. People call me albino sometimes. I guess I see what they mean. I hate the light. Now if I only had white hair instead of brown hair and pale eyes instead of brown eyes, people would really have something to talk about. I mean, they talk about me anyways. It's not hard to imagine what people would say about a mute albino.

HA.

I take some pain medicine and reluctantly put the pill bottle back in the cabinet. It's been four years since everything happened, and I still can't help but think about how easy it would be to take too many pills; to just slip away in my sleep and never have to come back to this.

Here, the past is too painful.

Here, the present is dull.

Here, the future is out of reach.

Here, I'm alone.

I didn't used to be. But... now I am.

But whatever. I'm still holding on to the lame life I have here. Mostly for the music.

My last year of high school starts tomorrow. Am I excited? No. Not at all.

We have to wear uniforms. Red and black or blue and brown skirts that end about two inches above my knees; button-up blouses; solid colored leggings; and flats. Always the same. Always.

But at least the teachers aren't too strict. They don't care if you pay attention or not, as long as you do your homework. So I've survived the past slow years by chewing gum, sketching, and listening to my iPod in every class, every day. It's just routine by now. And I don't plan on that changing. This year, I hope, won't be any different.

But, as it turns out, things don't usually go as I hope they do.

xxx

-Alyssa <3

(Picture of Angie to the right)