The Silent One

{Fourteen}

You know the loud noise a balloon makes when it pops? That noise that makes everyone jump? My words are like that- sudden, loud, and scary. Heck, I manage to scare myself.

I barely even understand what I'm saying. Who knew my voice could sound like this?

"Don't you dare say his name! You have no right to say his --- name, you ---! Shut your filthy mouth before I shut it for you! I haven't talked in four years because of you, and you think you have the right to insult me? Or even speak to me? You should be in jail. Hell, you should be --- dead! You and your gang murdered my best friend. And you... you... I'm not the same now. I never will be, because of what YOU did to me. I thought dads were supposed to love their daughters, not take them out in the woods and... and... Well, you know what? I don't even want to know you! I don't ever want to see your --- face again! I want you dead for what you did! All of you!"

I yank my cell phone out of my back pocket. What a bunch of idiots. They didn't even take away my phone.

I push 9. And then 1. But then I'm yanked away from Kevin by my hair. Kevin tries to hold on to me, but one of the gang members hits him in the gut. He falls to the ground, and there's nothing I can do to help him. I try not to cry out, even though my eyes are tearing up. Why does it have to hurt so much when you pull a girl's hair?

My phone falls to the ground. I try to lean down and get it, but something under my chin holds me up. I stop moving. My father yanks me back to him by my hair and pushes the knife further into my skin. But I'm more scared of my closeness to him, than I am of the knife. I can feel the blood trickling down my shirt, but it's distant in my mind. Closer is the memory of that night.

My body's burning, even though the icy wind is slowly freezing me to death. Every inch of me hurts, aches, and throbs. I can't move. My eyes are squeezed closed so tightly that I see red. My lips are bleeding from biting them so hard this whole time; I can't feel them anymore; I'll have scars for sure. I don't have the energy to curl up into a ball, or even put my ripped clothes back on. My fingers are slowly turning blue. But I don't care. Not anymore.

I'm almost dead by the time Steven finds me. I felt myself slipping away. And I wasn't about to fight it. What was the point? Here, alone in the woods, after what's happened... I didn't see the point of living anymore.

Right as Steven comes crashing through the bushes, I pass out. The dark is somehow welcoming.

When I wake up the first time, I'm in Steven's arms, surrounded by white walls and wrapped in some material. It takes me a minute to realise that I'm in a hospital. I hold onto his jacket with every remaining ounce of my strength. And when people start yelling, I close my eyes and try not to cry. It feels like a nail's being driven into the side of my head.

When a man comes rushing into the room, I tense up. After more talking that I don't bother to try to understand, Steven hands me to the man. I refuse to let go of his jacket, and, even though I'm trying so hard to stay awake, I pass out again- this time in the man's arms. Even as the darkness pulls me under, I feel the fabric of Steven's jacket tear in my fingers, and the sharp, unfamiliar pains in my lower body. But then the black swallows me, like a fish swallowing its bait, and I don't fight it.

I break out of my trance with a gasp. Suddenly, I'm fighting for air-fighting for control. The world starts to spin, and the knife slices my skin open as I fall to the ground. the only person fast enough to respond, is Kevin. He grabs me under my armpits and I struggle to pull myself back up. I'm still gasping for breath, and now there's blood trickling down my shirt from the cut on my neck. The gang members stand in shock. My father stays where he is. I can't see the expression on his face. I don't want to.

I'm hanging from Kevin's shoulder like a puppet hanging from strings, and Kevin's trembling. faintly, I remember him getting punched in the gut, and I wince in sympathy. This is not going well.

I look up, and jump when my father starts laughing. He busts out in laughter that's almost hysterical. The other gang members aren't sure what to do, and all I can do is hold on to Kevin and try not to fall over in shock. Why is he laughing?

I don't get to find out, because suddenly there're people everywhere. People with guns and badges. People yelling and running. People trying to drag me and Kevin away into safety.

Kevin smiles beside me. I love his smile.

I smile too. The police are here. Things just might be okay now.

As we're being taken away, I watch my father and the rest of the gang members go onto their knees. Grimly, I smile even wider. Even though I wasn't the one to get revenge, he's still going to pay, one way or another. All of them. And that's enough for me.

I force myself to look away. Kevin squeezes my hand and pulls me tighter to him. I look up into his eyes, and I tell him everything. In a hoarse whisper, I talk about the party, the kiss, and the woods. Amazingly enough, I'm even able to talk about how I was raped, and how, after Steven made sure I was okay, he went to find the gang, to get revenge.

Kevin's arms hold me together while I talk.

I explain how I snuck out of the hospital in my gown and watched as the gang beat Steven in the parking lot until he was dead, and then watched them walk away. Every part of me trembles when I talk about how I held his hand while he died, and kissed his eyelids when they closed.

You would think I'd break down. Talking about that experience would be hard as hell for anyone. But, this time, it's actually a relief to talk. And, oddly enough, I'm content. Even among the mass confusion and noise, and even as Kevin and I are taken into the back of an ambulance for treatment, and then a police car for interrogation, I'm content. Everything will be okay now. I know it.

- Alyssa <3

[This is NOT the last chapter.]