The Silent One

{Five}

You what? he whispers.

Kevin's shocked.

I rewrite what I've already written.

'I think someone's following me.'

'Like... a stalker?'

'Well, yeah.'

He looks around the buzzing cafeteria, as if he could possibly find my "stalker" here.

'But... why?' he writes.

Why what? Why could I have a stalker? Why are things from my past suddenly showing up, years after everything happened? Why am I telling Kevin any of this? Why am I about to tell him more?

'Whoever it is,' I reply, 'knows things about me. He/she knows how to unnerve me. It's... kind of scaring me.'

Great. I am now admitting how I feel. Just what is Kevin doing to me?

'Is there any way I can help? I mean... I don't want you to be scared.'

I'm genuinely touched by his offer. Maybe he really does care.

'Thanks. But... I need to figure out what's going on. If I need you, I'll ask. But I just wanted you to know. Don't worry about me.'

Kevin shakes his head, not convinced.

'Sure.'

'Really, it's fine.' I argue.

Luckily, he knows not to push it. 'Okay. So how's your art going?'

I'm relieved for the subject change. My art is something I can actually talk, er... write, about. It's not something Kevin necessarily knows a lot about, but he's trying.

Most people don't even bother with that.

xxx

When I get home, there's nothing on my doorstep. Relief surges through me like a tidal wave. Maybe I was just overreacting after all.

But then again, maybe I wasn't.

Because the next thing I see isn't on my doorstep. Instead, it's on the floor in my room, surrounded by blank canvases. At least, I think they're blank.

It's a rock. But it's not just any rock.

I can't stop myself from remembering. I wish I could, but... I can't. Not anymore. Not like I used to be able to.

xxx

It was Steven's rock. He used to collect them before he "grew out of that." (I knew where he still kept them.) That rock, was his first.

When I first met Steven, he was nine, and I was eight. My parents were on vacation, and I'd begged them to let me stay with my best friend, Lily. I'd been so excited. But then we got into this huge fight and I ran to the park to get away from her. Not long after that, she turned into a prep and completely forgot about me. But by then it didn't matter, because I met Steven.

We weren't best friends right away. I hated him at first. Steven was the annoying boy I only knew by reputation. And he stole my swing. You never steal an eight-year-old girl's swing.

We spent the first ten minutes of our "friendship" arguing. Loudly. We probably would've hated each other for the rest of our lives if he hadn't apologized. I was storming away when I heard him say it.

"I'm sorry."

That changed everything.

I could have ignored him and kept storming away. But I didn't. Instead, I turned around and looked him in the eye.

"I'm sorry too." and then I just kept talking. "It's just... my 'best friend' is being a jerk."

Amazingly, my bottom lip stuck out the tiniest bit.

He hesitated. "You... wanna talk about it?"

I hesitated too. And then we started talking.

Soon, we were best friends.

And before I left that night, he gave me the best rock of his "collection." To keep.

I've had it ever since.

xxx

And now, it's here. On my floor. Almost as if it's waiting for me...

This is just too freaky, and creepy, and scary... something inside me just, snaps. I pick up the rock, chunk it, and fall to my knees when it dents the wall. And then I scream.

Maybe I'm overreacting. But... maybe not.

My scream sounds inhuman. For four years, I haven't used my voice. So at first, there isn't even sound coming out of my mouth. But then it comes back to me.

I'd forgotten how it sounded to hear my own voice in my ears. It's strange. And my throat feels like it's being sliced open.

So my scream doesn't last long. I choke on air and start gasping for air.

The rock is still waiting on the floor.

With trembling fingers, I pick it up.

I stay there for two hours, staring at the rock in my hand and wondering if I've gone insane.

xxx

*The next morning*

'You actually screamed?' Kevin writes. Shock is written all over his face.

I nod. He writes some more.

'So... are you still mute?'

I smile (it's amazing that I can, or even want to...) and write back after checking to make sure the teacher hasn't seen us.

'I don't think it works that way. I'm still mute. I just screamed because I had so much emotion built up and... yeah. But I still don't talk.'

Kevin doesn't write back until the end of class, and he only gives me the note when the bell rings. Mystified, I rush to my next class and open the paper before the teacher comes in.

'Would you talk to me?'

I stop breathing. His question stops me cold.

I can't focus at all during the whole class because I'm too busy trying to think of an answer.

Would I? Would I talk to Kevin? Or would nothing be able to change my silence?

I could have lied. Or I could have told the truth, whatever that was. But instead, I brush it off. Humor solves everything.

'Technically, I "write" to you already.'

Kevin's answer is blunt, and I can't help but feel bad. But how else am I supposed to respond?

'You know that's not what I meant.'

'I know... but I didn't know how else to answer.'

Kevin changes the subject and I'm grateful. That's one good thing about Kevin; he doesn't push for an answer.

We talk about my art for a while and then I tell him something that I've been debating over ever since I woke up this morning; something that I wasn't sure I should tell him.

'I think my dad's the one who's stalking me. And I want to find him. Call me crazy, but... revenge sounds really nice right now.'

Kevin doesn't know what happened. No one does. But he knows me well enough to realize that I'm dead serious. He may not understand, but he doesn't have to.

I add one more sentence before I give him the note. The bell rings, and I run out the door. I don't have to see Kevin's face to know he's scared and confused and shocked all at the same time.

And so am I. But I have to do this. And I need him to come. Why? I'm not sure. But, I just do.

'I want you to come with me.'

xxx

- Alyssa <3