The Silent One

{Twelve}

*Author's Note:

*So... check out the song I posted with this! It reminds me of Angie's perspective at the end of this chapter, and after "it" happened. So, it describes her dad, and Kevin, even though her eyes aren't hazel:P Hopefully, I didn't give too much away! Thanks for reading <3

*

After writing my goodbye and hugging Dr. Ramirez until I force myself to pull away, I drag Kevin out of the restaurant. He slides into the passenger seat and I turn the key in the ignition. I'm still blinking the tears from my eyes while I drive away.

It's kind of ironic, because I would've expected myself to be the one in shock. Not Kevin. But I seem to be the saner one here. Maybe it's because I knew all along, or because it's kind of a relief to know for sure. Whereas, Kevin didn't know at all.

Heck, he hasn't even heard of Steven before now.

Oh well. I guess it's too late to take it back now.

When I park, Kevin gets out, helps me cover the car (as always), and then goes inside. He's like a zombie. I can't read any expression on his face.

It scares me.

When I get back inside, I lock the door and then go looking for Kevin. He's not in the basement, or the kitchen, so I check his room. The door's closed, so I knock gently and press my ear against the wood.

"Come in." Kevin answers. His voice sounds hoarse.

I twist the knob, push the door open, and cringe when it creaks. The sound hurts my ears. Kevin's hunched over on his bed with his head in his hands. Uh oh, I think. This can't be good.

Timidly, I go over and sit on the bed next to him. He doesn't look up until I start rubbing his back. I'm shocked to see tears on his face.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Kevin croaks.

I bite my lip. This isn't what I had expected to happen...

With still-trembling hands, I pull out my phone and start typing. But before I can type too much, Kevin grabs my wrist, rougher than he ever has. I startle, and my phone falls on the bed. We lock eyes- green meets brown- and I catch my breath. The intensity of his gaze is frightening.

"No." he says. "Don't write it. Say it. Tell me what I need to know Ang. Or should I call you Angelica?"

His words are like a slap in the face. For the first time, ever, Kevin's asking me to talk. Speak. Communicate with spoken words.

And he's asking me to talk about my past.

And the way he said my real name... it's like he's spitting at me.

I don't like it.

So I do talk. One word. That's all I need to say. He should know better than to even ask for that.

"No."

No, I won't say it. No, you shouldn't call me Angelica. No. I'll write it, because that's who I am. No, you can't force me to change.

And then I stomp out and start texting him all of the bitter things I want to say.

'Why would you do that? Why would you ask me to talk, when you know I don't? I thought you'd never do that to me. I thought you'd be that one person who would never ask that of me. I thought you knew me. And I'm sorry that I can't tell you everything with words. I'm sorry that I'm not like every other freaking girl in the world. I'm sorry that I'm different, and that my past is horrible, and I'm mute, and I'm not even going to graduate from high school, and... I'm sorry.

'You know, I thought you'd be able to handle this. I wouldn't tell you about my past if I didn't think you needed to understand. I trust you. But if you can't handle this, then it's your loss. With, or without you, I WILL get my revenge. This is really worse for me, and I'm not the one trying to force YOU to do things you don't want to do. If you can't handle this.. Go. I'll be fine on my own. I've been on my own ever since it happened, and I can be on my own again. So unless you're ready to listen- and by that, I mean read- you need to go. I don't care if I'm overreacting. I just can't do this.'

I hit send, and then, after a few seconds of squeezing my eyes shut and crossing my fingers, I glance at my phone. Kevin's typing. And now he's not. And now he is.

I take a shuddering breath, and then flinch when I hear angry footsteps come down the hall. My heart stops when they come near my door, but he just keeps going. And soon after, I hear the front door slam, and the lock clicks.

I'm alone.

I curl into a ball and just cry. Even though I told him to leave, I didn't want him to. I never expected Kevin, sweet, trustworthy, Kevin, to leave me... Ever. My mouth tastes bitter. I should've known better than to trust him. Or anyone.

I cry until I feel dizzy. When I finally force myself to get up and get a drink, my head starts pulsing. The room's spinning slightly, and the water in my mouth is painful to swallow. Too cold. It comes back up, and I don't fight it. I throw up in the trash can and spit weakly to try to get the taste out of my mouth. I hate this about myself. Whenever I'm stressed, I make myself sick. Just like now. And it sucks. But I don't know how else to handle. Ever since Steven died, I haven't known what to do with myself at times like this.

I stagger into the basement and run my fingertips along the wall, trying to find the light switch. After a few minutes of aimless searching, I give up, drag myself to the couch, and collapse. My heavy eyelids close, and I breathe in deep.

It smells like Kevin.

xxx

Sometime later, I jerk awake. At first, I don't know where I am, and I'm scared to move at all. The night is strangely quiet... too quiet. And then I hear it again. Glass, or ceramic, crunching under someone's boot.

My heart speeds into overdrive and I freeze. Goosebumps rise all over my arms. Inside, I'm freaking out. Outside, I'm a statue.

All's quiet, and I can't see anything. It's pitch black, and I frantically think that this must be the darkest blackness I've ever seen. I search for a person in the room, but my eyes are too weak. With my fingers clutching at the couch arm and my knuckles probably turning white, I swallow and force a whisper.

"Kevin?"

There's a pause. I've forgotten how to breathe. And then I hear a chuckle, almost directly in front of me.

"Oh sweet Angelica. I'm not Kevin. But by the end of the night, you'll be wishing I was."

Nope. Not Kevin.

I barely have time to panic before I hear a whooshing sound near my left ear. Oddly enough, I don't feel too much when the object hits the side of my head. Just a tremendous pressure, and a split-second spark of white-hot pain... and then everything turns to a whole new shade of black.

It's gone.

It's all gone.

My body, limp in unconsciousness, falls to the floor. The man and the other person behind him scoop me up and take me outside. If I had been conscious, I would have felt the icy air against my skin, and the vibration in my back pocket from my cell phone. I didn't know that Kevin had just texted me back. Just then, I didn't know anything. But I was about to know plenty...

Maybe more than I had ever wanted to know.

- Alyssa <3