The Longest Goodbye

Seven

                         Jacob

It doesn't seem like life should be going on right now. I feel like time should have stopped from the moment we got the news, but the sun still rises. I don't know whether to blame God for all this, or totally ignore Him.

Through our entire lives growing up, I and my siblings were taught to always lean on God through the hard times. But my question is; why are there even hard times? If God can speak the world I to existence, then why can't He speak Jade's cancer away? I'm confused and a little angry because the sun came up.

"You okay, babe?" Robin has been asking me this for the past three days. That's how long it's been since we found out my best friend is dying.

I don't answer her. It's such a stupid question to ask at a time like this. As the two youngest siblings, I and Jade we're closer with each other than the twins were growing up. We did everything together, but now I'm going to lose her.

Oh yeah, I'm perfectly okay!

Robin walks over to me and sits down on the staircase step I'm sitting on. It's just us in the house since the twins are at a friend's  and Luke is taking a nap.

My understanding wife slips her arm around me and I lean into her. I can't help the tears that begin to fall.

"Why is this happening to us? Jade's never done anything wrong. Why her?"

I hear Robin breath in sharply, clearly trying to fight her own tears. "I don't know, sweetie. I wish I did."

She holds me as I fall apart, and by the end of it all I realize one thing. I blame God for all of this.

                          ~~*~~
                          Joanie

I don't know if I can make it through this. In a way I still feel like it is all some nightmare I had the night before. I'm waiting on Jade to call and check in on me as usual so she can tell me how stupid I am for believing that my dream is real. But the call never comes, and my heart aches.

"You okay, Momma?"

I look up from my seat on my bed to see Kade standing in the doorway. He's such a sweet boy. He walks over to me and I hug him tightly. None of my kids know the truth of everything yet, and I'm not sure when I should tell them.

I look back at the door to see the rest of my children staring into there room.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Emily asks.

I motion for them to come closer, and I pull them all into my arms. "Nothing baby. I just love y'all so much." I whisper.

And this is the truth. Hearing that my sister is dying has rocked my world, and I've been reminded of how short, and precious life is. I was reading my Bible this morning and talking to God about all that's happening, and I realize that I haven't been the wife or mother I should be. I'm thankful for the wake up call, but I hate God had to use Jade to make me see.

As the day stretches out, I wait for Allen to get home. I want to apologize to him for not loving him as deeply as I once did, and for not helping him up in the hard times. Finally  around ten o'clock, I hear his heavy footstep echo up the porch. I watch him come in. He's messy and smells on grease and man, but I don't care. I rush over to him and hug him tightly as I begin to cry. He wraps his arms around me.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asks into my hair.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

He pulls away to look me in the eyes. "For what?"