The Longest Goodbye

Fourteen

                          Joanie

It's been a painful month since Jade's death. Everything is still so fresh; our emotions, our tears and the pain we feel. But all this doesn't stop my water from breaking.

I'm in a hospital bed right now with my contraction getting closer and closer together. Allen is standing beside me on my left and my mother is right behind him. The rest of the family are all in the waiting room having been sitting in there for more than two hours already.

This is my sixth child so I wasn't expecting it to take this long. But finally my contractions reach to three minutes apart and I can tell that I'm ready as my doctor comes to the front of the bed.

                        ~~*~~
                         John

Things are a bit stressful in the waiting room, but we're all waiting as quietly as possible to find out what the gender of the new baby is.

I'm trying to sit still beside Lisa as she laughs at my side with Clare. Robin hadn't been able to come since she was sick, so Jacob's kids had stayed back with her.

I've already put in an application to the near by veterinarian college outside our town. I told Jade's clinic workers that if they could keep things going for a while longer than I could come in later and help. I've already bought the place making sure that no one else can get it. I've also hired Ed, who brings Champ to work everyday.

Life's as okay as it could be right now. The sting of Jade's death still clearly lingers, but we're trying to move forward knowing that that's what she would want.

Lisa taps my knee and I look over at her. "We should have another kid."

James chuckles. "Oh no, baby fever is taking over!"

James looks over at the two couples on the other side of the waiting room. "Get your women out of here men. Baby fever is highly contagious!"

The whole room fills with laughter as one man plays along and pretends to start carrying his girlfriend out the door.

At that moment Allen comes rushing into the room with a large smile and flushed face.

"It's a healthy baby girl!" He shouts.

We all cheer and hug Allen. "How's Joanie?" Clare asks.

"She's tired, but fine. They've already cleaned the baby and everything."

"When can we see her?" Jacob asks.

"In just a few. Mom will be out in a minute." Allen tells Dad. "I'll come back and get y'all when she's ready."

                            ~~*~~
                            Joanie

An hour later after the doctor stitched me up, I rest for a half hour before I tell Allen to let the siblings come in.

The nurse hands over my sweet, red faced daughter and I hold her for a moment before my brothers and Dad come walking in.

They surround my bed and start saying how she looks just like Allen. Allen of course smiles and agrees.

The nurse comes walking in then, and I look up to her.

"Okay," she states. "Have y'all decided on a name yet?"

I look up at Allen and he nods remembering what we talked about earlier. "Yes." I say. "Her name is Jade."

My dad wipes at a stray tear. "That's a good one."

The rest of them nod as the nurse takes down the full name before walking out.

"We're going to be okay." Jacob states.

I look up to find him in tears and James standing beside him with his arm around him. My own eyes fill and I smile looking down into Jade's new eyes.

"Yeah, we're going to be okay."

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Life is unfair, but you have to remember that when you are broken and worried; it's okay, to not be okay. Feel what needs to be felt and move on.