365 days before

352 days before - to show affection

Author's note : HEEEY I'm really sorry for updating so late ( not that anyone would care, this story only has like 300 reads hah ), but school began a few days ago & it's really stressing cause i'm going to ( i hope..) make my a-levels in a year. Kk, enjoy my new chapter :)

I'm laying on 'my' bed, trying to collect my thoughts. An hour ago, Michael came over ( he only had to walk though the hotel corridor) to find me at my highest emotional state to imagine.

I were sitting on the floor, leant on my bed, staring at the wall ( but not recognizing it as a wall, i actually stared into nothing), crying. I didn't get that tears were rolling down my face, not when Michael came in, not when he sat next to me and not when he laid an arm over shoulder.

I remember looking over at him, wanting to understand why he looked like a puppy who just got punched for something he didn't to. I remember opening my mouth, I really wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I remember my confused face when I tasted the salty tear, which had rolled into my open mouth.

Michael waited. I don't know how long, but he sat in the same position as before,  when I had stumbled out of the bathroom, where I tried to fix my sad face. As much as I attempted to know when I started crying, I just couldn't recollect it. 

"Luke." Michael said unsteady. "Talk to me." 

I felt the squeeze in my heart as I cleared my throat to speak. "So uhm."

I closed my mouth.

"Yeah? What did you want to say Luke?" 

"I" I said in the attempt to say something, at least thank him for the waiting. But my dry mouth only opened and closed like a fish who searched for water in a fishing net. 

"Yes? You? If you can't say it, please text me right now. But I'm worrying Luke, and I think I deserve an explanation"

I grabbed my phone ( even if I felt extremely stupid to really text him when he's next to me ) and opened Whatsapp. 

I don't know what to say. I tipped, just to delete it. Michael I can't tell you. deleted. I tell you but you're not allowed to laugh. deleted. Sorry. sent.

"Sorry? What sorry. Luke I'm your best mate, I wouldn't laugh at you. I know I'm a little bit harsh sometimes, but I know when I just have to listen and be quiet okay? You can trust me."

I look at my phone. I know. I know that I can trust you, like i DO trust you, but I don't know how, like how to start

"I can ask you questions and you can nod or shake your head?" He offered.

I threw my phone on my bed, slowly sat down next to him again and nodded.

"So you're sad?" He asked. Yes.

"Because you miss you're family?" I shook my head, no.

"Because off what someone said? Or because of a rumor on twitter?" No.

"Uhm, because of a girl?" Yes.

"Oh." He said. "Because of a girl I know?" I shook my head but quickly turned it into a nod.

"Because of a.. celebrity? Or no! Because of the mysterious twitter girl you told me about?" I nodded and covered my face with my hands.

"Still?So you still think of her?" I didn't react. "Luke I'm not judging you okay?"

"Yes" I mumbled in my hands. 

"Please look at me" I opened my fingers slightly, to look through the little gap that resulted. Michael laughed lightly. "Luke, please do it right."