Love Matters in the Dark (Septiplier/Jack x Dark AU)

Step 27: Sometimes you just have to take one for the betterment of the business.

"This device is not interested in being part of this level of insanity."

Have I mentioned how much I fucking hate Madie?

Dark sighs as he leans heavily on the kitchen island. His large wings are slightly folded as he presses a glass of the calming water to his lips and sips it gingerly. He is the picture of calmness regarding this entire fucking situation, and part of me wants to strangle him for it.

"Darling," he mutters, "You're going to have to be nicer to her if you want her to willingly go with us to Hell."

His logic escapes me.

"Nicer to her?" I yell, and Madie gives a very angry click and buzz behind me as I turn on my heel to face Dark directly. "It's not like she can put up much of a fight if we just took her. The damned thing doesn't even have legs!"

Another angry set of buzzes and clicks.

Dark pinches the bridge of his nose with his right hand - err claw - and rubs slowly. I'm fairly sure that my screaming is causing him an actual migraine.

"Madie is an incredibly complex and useful magical device," he says way too kindly considering my mood. "She will refuse to assist us if she is essentially kidnapped. Just apologize to her and maybe she - "

"Apologize to her?!"

It's a stalemate between me and that sarcastic pile of circuits, and there is no way that I am going to grovel at her imaginary feet. Yes, Madie has been useful tons of times since this entire ordeal started, but she's also been an incredible thorn in my side.

"Do you want to save the talkative human, or not?"

The question was a good one. Damn it.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

"Fine," I grunt, and I already can hear a small chuckle of triumph behind me. "I'll...apologize."

Dark gives me a warm smile, and I can feel my heart flutter in a way that I'm still getting used to. Moving over to where Madie is still placed on the counter I try my best to swallow my pride and self respect. It burns going down.

"Madie," I grumble. "I'm sorry for...shouting at you."

She buzzes and whirls at me for a very long time. Enough time for Dark to refill his glass of calming solution. What the fuck is she doing?

"This device accepts the Leprechaun hybrid's apology. Please allow a moment for this device to update settings for Attitude from Hell mode."

"So, then no changes needed then," I mumble.

"Jack..." Dark warns.

"Okay, okay," I mumble back. "Sorry."

While Madie is getting prepared, Dark gestures for us to go into the living room. On the same coffee table that once upon a time held the mobile device that I would have been using to help take care of his dates was now covered with various books opened to different pages. Most of them were in languages that I couldn't recognize, while a couple were obviously bibles.

Dark sits on the edge of the couch and pats the place right beside him. Sitting down I notice that he is much more focused than he has been for a while. The lovey dovey look in his crimson eyes are not as pronounced as before, and we are actually able to sit next to each other without him just wanting to kiss me.

"You seem to be able to look at other things instead of just my lips now, huh?"

He chuckles as he lifts the glass he's been constantly refilling.

"Calming agent in the water," he says simply. "It works to relax the bonding part of my mind for a limited time. Need to be as clear headed as possible once we descend. Your wits are the most important thing that you have when dealing with getting in and then back out of there."

I nod, even though I still have a lot of questions. Hopefully I'll be able to ask them at a later time. He hands me a small book and tells me to read the sections that he has highlighted in yellow marker. They are some sore of mixture of Gaelic and another language that I can't quite make out. It isn't English, but something strangely familiar.

"The words are in Leprish," Dark explains. "They are able to be understood by those with Leprechaun ancestry like yourself. Just like with your other powerful abilities you are able to embrace your gifts. You just need to focus, Jack."

I stare at him. I have no idea how to even begin to figure this out.

"That book is a travel guide to Leprechauns going to Hell on vacations," he continues. "Though it's a very old book. Your race rarely ever goes there since...well, the incident."

He suddenly is avoiding my gaze, and his cheeks have become much redder than before. He's blushing?

"Incident?"

He gives a tight nod of his head, and runs his claw like hand through his head of black hair. Then opens his mouth to try to elaborate, changes his mind, and then tries again.

"About 200 years ago there was a small group of Leprechauns who traveled down for a weekend holiday, and they ended up sleeping with a few demons like myself and succubi as well . You've seen what your type of magic did to me, and you're only part Leprechaun. Just imagine what full blooded ones can do. It was chaos. Some of us still aren't the the same. So, because of that happening there were new laws and rules put in place for anyone with Leprechaun blood going to Hell."

I nod again, suddenly feeling slutty from my ancestors.

"So, what does that mean? Do I need to like, fill out additional paperwork before we can rescue Ethan? It's not like the DMV is it? Jesus, tell me it's not like that."

Dark giggles at the idea, and places a reassuring claw on my knee.

"Not at all Jack. It just means that you have to have a restriction placed on your body before we go. Luckily I have one that you can use. Hold on just a moment."

He's off of the couch and heads towards the left side of the house. Madie gives a small chime as I wait.

"This device is now Hell ready."

I wonder to myself what type of condition Ethan could be in. He's already been gone for a while and we still seem to have so much to do to save him. Taking another look at the small travel book in my lap I notice that the words are getting a little easier to understand. Maybe Dark is right about me being able to do this. I just need to focus. Not let anything to be a distraction.

"All right Jack," calls out Dark's voice as he heads back to the couch where I'm sitting. In his clawed hands is a small package that he gives me with a smile.

It's a bright red vibrating butt plug.

"What the fuck is this?" I yelp.

Dark looks at the butt plug and then me again. His red eyes looking slightly concerned at my reaction.

"It's a restriction," he answers. "It will keep your powers limited while we are in Hell. You'll have to wear it the while we are finding Ethan."