Love Matters in the Dark (Septiplier/Jack x Dark AU)

Step 28: If your workplace offers free merch, it would impolite not to take it.

In my primary years when going to church was always part of the routine, I was taught about Adam and Eve. The story never really hooked me. Clueless guy and girl. Naked as fuck and happy with their place in life. Some sketchy plot about God telling them not to eat from some conveniently place tree of knowledge, and then a reptile - snake if you pressed enough - telling Eve to just try a little bit. Give it a taste. The biblical equivalent of a drug dealer.

In all of the better illustrated books, the fruit was an apple. Bright red and huge. Nested into Eve's pale hand and almost begging her to try. That's how Mark  is now, but instead of a forbidden fruit that would cause me the wrath of painful childbirth and and being sexually "woke" to bang the shit out of Adam, it's a bright red butt plug. Still in the wrapper.

Well, at least it was clean?

"No," I grunt, then take a step back as if it might grow legs and crawl it's way up to my anus.

"Jack..."

"No," I repeat. This time annoyed at the exasperated quality of his voice.

"Your type of magic is heavily monitored," Mark sighs. "We can't technically ban your magic in Hell because...well, that is very restrictive way of thinking, and Hell isn't built on that type of philosophy. But...placing a cap on your magical gifts will allow us to walk around without being attacked or...you being sought after."

I lift my eyebrows at the sought after part.

"There is a very good chance that you will be approached by..."

Mark pauses, trying to find the right words to explain. I'm not liking how long it's taking.

"It would be the equivalent of taking a prized bitch in heat to a dog show," he finishes quickly. "You have a distinct aroma that is incredibly appealing to demons. It's not as strong as if you were a full Leprechaun, but...we need to limit your tantalizing scent to others like - "

"So you need to plug up my ass?"

He rolls his eyes at me, and I really don't care that I'm being difficult. This is too much to deal with in such a long week. How I long for the days of boring concerns like how I was going to pay my electric bill.

"The restriction is there to protect you," he grumbles. "Your magic is chaotic, but it has to flow freely through your core. You...as a male have two openings that can be reasonably restricted. So, it's either butt plug or a ball gag, and you're way too mouthy to deal with being silent all through locating Ethan."

Madie buzzes, whirls, clicks and the giggles.

I really fucking hate that machine.

Both Mark and I frown at each other. I can sense a stand off happening if I don't cave. Ethan needs us. Damn it.

With a quick grab I take a hold of the butt plug and frown even deeper when I check out the directions. This is bullshit, but Mark is right. I'd explode if I'm not able to talk.

"I'll just be a minute," I mutter awkwardly as I head towards the closest bathroom.

Mark nods, already placing Madie in his back pocket along with beginning to put together some supplies for the trip. Thankfully he didn't ask if he could assist me with the plug. I don't think my heart could stand dealing with that.

"Ok," I whisper to myself once the bathroom door is locked and my pants and underwear are down around my ankles. "This can't be too difficult. I mean, I've fucked bigger than this...like, recently."

Within the package there is a small bottle of lube, and I squirt a generous amount onto the tip and base of the plug before taking a long steadying breath and slowly inserting it. For the first few seconds of it being in, I feel like this might actually not be that bad. There before I took my first step.

I'm not sure if I was screaming loud enough to actually break glass, but my lungs were giving it an incredibly hard try. How the hell do people actually enjoy these things? What the absolute fuck?

"Jack, baby...let me in. Are you okay?"

"Do I sound okay?!"

I barely have time to unlock the door to have Mark barreling inside the bathroom. His wings and horns are both out again, and if Dark also had a Hell Mode I was definitely seeing it. There was a faint red glow in his eyes again and he almost has a hazy outline to his body...or maybe that's just my eyes watering in pain.

"Deep breaths," he whispers, and he's holding me so tightly in his arms that I sigh a little. "Here, let me...help you adjust."

"What are ya - YEEOW!!!!"

He had given the butt plug a small twist and suddenly the pain was gone, and now it's replaced with...a better feeling.

"Oh Jesus," I groan, and I feel like butter melting against his hot skin. "Wow."

Dark's nose wrinkles and then he purrs. Holy shit I really love it when he purrs.

"Your magic," he moans. "Fuck...we, yeah...need to focus on getting you moving around. Being this close to you...distracting."

I giggle, and pucker my lips and kiss his jawline. At least, I'm attempting to be seductive as I can. Pretty sure I'm failing, but fuck it. This feels so good. With a couple of blinks I am in his strong arms and being carried. How nice. Maybe we're heading to the bedroom for a quick bang or two before we rescue...what was his name again?

Eric? Eddie? I'm sure it'll come back to me in a while, right?