The True Story of Mary and Joseph

trail work ahead? i sure hope it does!

Eight and three quarter months later, Joseph and Mary were on their way to a hospital, as there were none in Nazareth, despite biblical diseases and famine. Joseph insisted on riding a damned donkey. Mary was not amused, as they were traveling right next to a railroad. She was grateful, however, because her side piece Gabriel followed them stealthily and they hooked up while Joseph was asleep.

One night, it was real chilly as it was December and they had clothing fit for the desert. Mary pleaded with Hoeseph and eventually convinced him to let them stop in the nearest town. It was Bethlehem. The name was nice, Mary thought it was famous but it wasn't yet. The townsfolk were nice, but they wouldn't let the very pregnant Mary sleep on the couch so they had to sleep in a fucking barn. "Well," Mary said to herself, "it won't be hard for Gabe to find me."

In the middle of the night, Mary's water broke. She shook Gabriel awake, as she was with him because he was only twenty and that hoe Joseph was 90 fucking years old, how creepy of that time period. He carried her back to the barn, and she pretended to be asleep as he ran away to get his phone. To sell the lie even more, they had created an Instagram and Twitter account for God and even bribed the companies to be verified. Joseph, the dumbass, even sent the account dm updates on Mary's condition. It was all very amusing and a good distraction to Mary, who was having a very hard pregnancy.