Why Can't It be Easier

January 6th

Today has been very boring. I've just laid around the house all day and watched movies. I had the dog get mad at me when I moved but that was about it. I did realize one thing when I woke up in the night crying because of the same nightmare I've had on an off the last three months about my best friend and me in the car and we get into an accident. We are both rushed to the hospital and all I walk away with is a few cuts and bruises while my best friend has internal bleeding. I wake up at the same time every night when the doctor comes to tell me that the best friend/love of my life has died. At that moment I wake up and I'm crying because I think that it is real. I told him today that I won't be able to text him in the night to make sure he is okay while he is at college. He said that I still can. I told him that might be true but I will feel bad. He asked me why and I told him that I don't want to be a distraction and that I feel like I am one at that moment. He said "not at all silly" I want to believe him but at the same time I feel like he is lying to me. Anyway until tomorrow...