The Girl Who Cried Werewolf

Janunary 6, 2019

As of now I write this to you

Whom ever it may concern

Or care to know what happened

For the past three years

I wasted my time

Very soon the little time I have left 

Will soon run out

I made my decision

I made a backup plan

All these wonderful things they said about me

How I was a white shinning light

Holds no true anymore

I'm afriad that light is becoming dull

I have come to realize I'm nothing but a place holder in this world

If I were to die I would be forgotten and erased from 

Even writing this now 

There are tears wanting to pour out

But I cannot cry with people around this moment

I just wanted to become someone

Make something out of myself

Maybe its true I'm not willing to work harder for it

If I truly wanted I wouldn't be typing this and be practicing hard

But it seems the odds were never in my favor

Even if I tried to make them, they never will

I don't see nothing wrong with death

People merely threaten to tell or report you

Thing is people don't want to help you

They just want to be seen as the hero

As the savior so everyone will admire them

You are not a savior or hero

You kept me living in a life where I have become imprisoned

You might think I'm sick or crazy

Who needs to be locked up in some mental hospital

But I'll tell you you're true

People don't care

They only ask if you're fine too make it seem like they do

For example, when an adult asks you if you're okay

They are only asking because it's their job to make sure the whatever the teen is thinking of doing

Doesn't affect them or they will loose their job of the school will get sued or get blamed

I hate how I was never told what wrong I was doing 

Even if it pissed me off, why didn't you ever tell me whether or not I was doing it right or wrong

Is it because I'm soft person?

There's nothing you could have said that could possibly hurt me anymore then I did too myself

I figured it be best if I gave myself punishment for what I've done 

Or simply for existing

In the course of those three years and this moment

The people I've meet or had the chance of meeting

I thought about the displeasure you had with me

I'm truly sorry about everything 

If it helps any of you to feel better 

There are punishments I'm given  myself every once in awhile

I mentally beat up myself

And other things that I won't mention to keep safe

But I'm guessing you already know

The things I loved are not appealing anymore

I can't seem to pay attention to anything 

I'm always bored all the time and mad

All I do is stare longing up towards the sky 

Raining or sunsets listening to music

I still am debating 

I'm staring to feel like life has no meaning

Dreaming big , yet working so little

I don't know who I am

I want to be saved from myself

But that is impossible

My head hurts

My body

My heart 

My everything

Why should I think about what I'll leave behind

If I was never thought of?

I'm being selfish aren't I?

Mentally disturbed student

Come on don't act so surprise you don't care haha

I'm sorry about the wrongs I did

Pretty soon if everything backfires then the backup plan will come too light

That is my story

I want to say more but I said enough

I'm I was never good enough to live in this world

I'm sorry about my mistakes

I'm sorry for my existing

The four walls that kept me safe 

No longer hold

I'm tired, really tired

What's done is done, I can't go back in time or rewind

The past haunts me in my dreams

Wasted days dreaming of the times I can't get back

They are gone, I can do nothing but sulk in my regrets 

I'm invisible

I'm a castaway

I'm the girl who cried werewolf