The Free Spirit

My Hero, Thalidomide, 1960 (Part One)

"Oh, I didn't miss the teardrops, but I missed you constantly..."

I have a lot of trouble remembering the three weeks that I spent in the Western Mental Health Institution. I know it was rather wretched, as I still have nightmares about it even to this day. I remember being frightened by some of the patients there and I recall never wanting to leave my room, but being forced to by the staff or they'd punish me some way or another. I was hit when I resisted anything and shouted at by the staff. When I had visible bruises, they wouldn't let Don see me for very long, and he said around the beginning of the second week of January, he became suspicious of mistreatment when they told him he wasn't allowed to visit. On that particular day, I had received a small dose of electroshock therapy, which made me feel nothing but pain throughout my body and made me feel as if I were being fried internally. The shocks hurt, no matter how small they were, and I dreaded the next treatment, which would be in a couple of days. The 'treatment' left me confined to my bed unable to properly move because my body hurt so badly, and the beatings from the staff didn't help much either. I was fed horrible quality food, the lavatories were disgusting and went uncleaned and even clogged for days and if it weren't for my medication, I would probably be throwing up at my revolting surroundings. My roommate, too, was disgusting, and not for any fault of her own. She soiled her bed daily and was left to sit in it for hours before someone finally tended to her.

The clearest memory I have of Western Mental Health was when my husband came to visit on the day of my second electroshock treatment. I heard his voice shouting near the nurse's station as I was being restrained by the staff, and upon hearing his voice, I broke free of my bonds and ran out of my room and straight into his arms, tears streaming down my face as I held onto him for dear life. "Stop her! Stop that woman!" the staff shouted as I ran to my husband, and Don put a hand up to stop them when they got too close for comfort.

"Leave her alone! She's fine, she ain't no danger to no one! See? She's just scared o' you asshats!" Don shouted at them. He took in my current state, with my rather messy unbrushed hair and spots of dirt on my hospital gown and arms. He then broke the embrace to look at me and realised that the dirt spots on my skin weren't dirt spots at all - they were bruises. My husband then turned to the staff angrily and with hatred burning in his eyes. "What the fuck did you do to my wife?"

"Any bruises she has are self-inflicted-" a nurse began, but Don interrupted her.

"Don't give me that bullshit! These bruises ain't self-inflicted, someone did this to her! If I were any more hot headed, you'd all be dead in five minutes, but you're lucky I'd rather get my wife the hell out here sooner before I touch any of y'all!" he spat at them.

"Sir, Mrs. Everly isn't ready to be discharged-" a doctor began, but Don interrupted him, too.

"I don't give a shit what you think. You're a doctor and you're allowin' for this kind of treatment to happen? Fuck you, man! Discharge my wife and we're goin' the hell home, or I'll sue you fuckers until ya got nothin' left to your name!" my husband demanded, all while I hid my face in his chest while he held me tightly. The doctor complied, and I was discharged. Knowing that it might be unsafe for me to be somewhere where I wasn't watched, Don made sure someone was in the home with me and Elton at all times. Ike was relatively okay with it, but Margaret had other views.

"She should have stayed in that hospital, Don. She isn't well!" Margaret argued with him in a hushed tone, expecting me not to hear.

"Mama, she was bein' abused there. Don't ya care about that? They was hurtin' my wife and I don't stand for that-"

"I should have known she was gonna go crazy! Her mother went crazy. It runs in families, the crazy!"

"That's my mother-in-law, Mama! And I'm sure Mrs. Cromwell has her reasons for bein' the way she is."