The Free Spirit

Mama Tried; 1975 (Part Three)

The things that happened after Ike's death told us that things would never be like they used to. Our family was going through a lot of change in the seventies, from the war ending to our children growing up and getting ready to fly the nest, Ike's illness and death, the brothers splitting up, and many more things that would come. Don and I weren't young anymore, our kids were hardly kids anymore, the innocence of all of our youths had faded and time was moving far too quickly, and we were struggling to catch up. A part of each of us continued to live in the past, while the rest of us struggled with coping with the future that was to come.

Margaret was staying with us after her husband passed away and for a little while, she was quiet and kept to herself while she mourned for her lost husband. Every morning, afternoon and evening, Don would be an excellent son and make his mother a meal and bring it to her, and she'd barely eat it. "She's lost the love of her life, love... She'll get better soon, she just needs time and patience," I told Don one evening.

"She's barely eatin', she's gonna make herself sick," Don told me.

"My father was very much like this when my mother died. We thought he would put himself in the grave but he got better with time. Your mother will, too," I replied.

"I hope so. I'm worried about her." He loved his mother dearly, but years of always being second to his brother and always being judged by his mother made it hard for him to express that love. After four days, Margaret finally emerged from her room, seemingly back to her old self.

"You can't have your husband do all the cooking. Don has more important things to do!" she told me as I sat at the table studying for an exam.

"I like cookin', Mama, and she's busy studyin'. Leave her be," Don told his mother.

"Studying to become a doctor... That's a man's profession. If you wanted to get back to work, you should have stayed a nurse," Margaret said.

"It's 1975, Margaret. Women work now. Women can be doctors, surgeons, CEOs and so much more nowadays. We're not just nurses, beauticians or housewives anymore," I told her, never once looking up from my book.

"Your daughters are going to have a lot of trouble finding good men," Margaret warned me, and I just ignored her. She was back to her old judgemental ways, that was for damn sure, but she seemed even more vicious than usual.

"Actually, none of our daughters can keep the boys away from them," I replied nonchalantly.

"They what now?" Don said sternly, turning around to look at me.

"Not a discussion you should be having with me, Donald. If you're so concerned, talk to your daughters," I told him.

"You're their mother-" Margaret began, and I cut her off.

"My daughters are independent girls, soon to be young women, who can speak for themselves, decide for themselves, and choose who they invite into their lives. They can choose to behave how they wish. I've taught them how society expects women to behave, and I've also taught them that they have the freedom to choose their own futures. If you have a problem with that, Margaret, frankly, I do not care," I told her, and then I returned to my studying.

"Was anyone gonna tell me about these boys?" Don asked.

"Now look, Catherine. You've upset Don!" Margaret exclaimed. I put my pencil in my book and closed it, then gathered up my notes that were surrounding me on the table.

"I'm going to go and study upstairs if you need me, Donald," I told my husband, not addressing Margaret at all, and I left the kitchen. I had thought that Margaret would have been much nicer now that she was on her own, but that very much seemed to not be the case.