Settle Down

Part one

The clock hung in Manchester Victoria station showed 3 p.m. Walking closer to be able to notice the time, she saw it was almost ten past three already. Her hair flew around her neck before she hid it under the black hood of her leather jacket. She started sprinting out of the station and took a sharp turn to the left, almost hitting a couple of girls coming her way. She got a few disapproving looks from the people waiting in lines to get tickets, but for once, she didn't look back. 

She ended up a block away in just a couple minutes. Her steps were fast, and her breathing was slow, almost dead. While walking through the streets, she noticed her shaking hands and got hold of a cigarette. Her pack was half empty, she probably should go get a new one before heading to the center. Still walking fast, almost running, she looked for her lighter in the back pockets of her jeans, and then in her jacket. She stopped near a couple on the terrace of a café and asked them for a lighter. The guy smiled and pushed his blue lighter on the table. Once again, she looked at the time shown on the clock hanging inside the pub. She did not have time to go buy a new pack of smokes.

When crossing the street, she wonders if there will be anybody but her at the center. She wonders if anybody would have cared enough to show up. She couldn't get the idea of his parents out of her mind. Of course, they won't be there.

The alley was not empty as she'd predicted, but it was not full either. There were just about half a dozen people there. All separated by a few meters, as if there had been a silent note passed around them saying that they should not approach each other, nor even dare talk to one another. Some people were leaning against walls, others were just sitting on the cold paved sidewalk. She decided to stand there, just waiting. Her thoughts were not as clear as she would have wanted for such a day as this, the alcohol of the night before was still running through her veins while she had been running from some unknown place earlier in the day. The people around her started standing back up, getting closer to the front door. So, she did too.

"He isn't even expecting me." She thought, maybe too loud because she saw some scared looks being shared around her. The people here did seem scared, scared of the place, scared of what would come out of that front door maybe. She hears some noise behind her and quickly looks back. She recognizes the two boys she saw that last night he was out, two months ago. They're getting closer to the small pack of people, lighting some cigarettes, and probably some joints too. A woman just a few feet from her turns and scowls at them before turning her eyes back to the front door. Finally, the doors open and two men wearing white shirts and oddly enough, bright shiny shoes come to the front. They greet the group and eventually, start letting the patients out. He comes out last.

***

"You were not expecting me, were you?" He shakes his head, more to shake off the idea of answering than to give her an actual response.

"I wasn't expecting anybody, really." He says, giving the two boys standing a few feet from them a look. One of them catches his eyes and comes closer, ruffling through his hair before leaning against the garage door, holding a beer in one hand. When he catches a glimpse of Hayden' stare, he moves away before having said anything. She puts her eyes back on the boy, man maybe, sitting next to her. He hasn't said much since he came back, he has not even noticed Vinny trying to interrupt.

"Look-", he says while turning to face her, dropping his eyes quickly, "are we ok? I mean, are we anything?"

She thinks about it for a second then notices the mini fridge between the boxes in the back of the garage where Vinny and the others were helping themselves a few minutes ago. She gets up and walks fast enough so he wouldn't try to call her back. As she is coming back near him, after taking a sip from the bottle she's now holding by the tips of her fingers, she gets a hold of his eyes. He is staring at the bottle, not with envy, not with sparkles in his eyes nor anything like that, just anger. Envy would not just do it. He was not literally going out of his mind right now, even internally, just thinking about how this could end up. He was just so sick of it, so tired of having had to battle with his issues for months, that right now, he is just seeing that bloody beer as a way he could escape. He has to fight himself not to grab it from Hayden's grip and gulp it down, so he could maybe choke on it. He just has a kind of rage running in his eyes right now, one that she had rarely seen before.